"FIND MY FAMILY" REDUX

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Adoption law scholar Elizabeth Samuels has a letter in Saturday’s Washington Post in response to TV critic Tom Shales scathing review of Find My Family: The family weep-stakes. I agree with his broader critique of the show and its reality porn genre, but did Shales have to muck up his cultural criticism with a cheap shot at first parents Sandy and Scotty Steinpas: Then the Steinpases decided to forget about the legally binding agreement they’d signed in 1979, pledging not to search for their former baby or upset her home life. Why should Scotty and Sandy let a nasty old contract get in the way of their whims? WTF??? Of all the complaints I could raise about Find My Family, some alleged breech of contract is as far away from my radar as Antoine Vermette’s reaction to the latest Columbus Blue Jacket’s loss. To show how far away that is, I had to look up the Bluejacket’s roster to come up with his name to write that last sentence. Shales sees himself as a latter-day Gilbert Seldes. He treats TV like it’s theatre or film–an admirable, but in the case of Voyeur TV–absurdist endeavour. Reality porn is not Man of Continue Reading →

KITTIES SPEAK OUT ABOUT ADOPTION

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I’m doing some editing and research today. I don’t have much time and asked the Bad Cats, Abbie and Jonathan, to write my blog. As foundlings themselves, they are very sensitive about adoption, especially their own. All we know of their past is that their mother, suspected of being an undocumented Siamese, was allegedly run over by a horse trailer in West Virginia when they were but a few days old. The babies, and their brother Tiger, were rescued by Bruce, Brenda, and Sean and, brought to Columbus. Eventually they ended up with me. The kitties wanted to tell their own story. They spent the day scouring the ‘net hunting down possible relatives and friends of their mother Unfortunately, their drive-by dad is unknown. Everyone they talked to either clammed up at the words,” Iz youz my famblieez?” or told them to “shutz yer trap, be grateful you iz in Columbus, Ohio and not on a farm outside of Buckhannon eating micees.” The poor kitties were so traumatized they had to double up on catnip and take to their respective beds in their respective rooms. (They suffer huge attachment issues and refuse to share a bed, much less a dinner.) Continue Reading →

THANKSGIVING: I’M GRATEFUL FOR CELEBRITY ADOPTERS!

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I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. Since Bastardette regards cooking something people are paid to do, BF Bastard and I did China Dynasty this year. Big Chinese buffet along with turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, dressing, and some knockout maple syrup mashed sweet potatoes. I considered taking pictures of my meal to post here, but that’s just so….Facebook! Since everyone is saying how grateful they are this season, I suppose I should add my two cents: I am not grateful for the legislatures of 44 states and their industry bullies and hangers-on that continue to treat bastards as chattel. I’m grateful, however, for my Bastardette buddies, Bastard Nation, good friends, family, and the Bad Cats. But most of all, I’m grateful for celebrity adopters, the true heroes of National Adoption Awareness Month. Without them, adoption would be as popular as the wringer washer, the buggy whip, and beta videos. Their altruistic acts of child gathering are an inspiration to middle America. Adoption = upward mobility. There’s a little bit of Hollywood in each of us, and what better way to live like a star than to adopt. Jim Hamilton posted this on nu.adult.adoption on Facebook and it’s worth Continue Reading →

"SAFE HAVEN" SURVIVOR

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In Columbus this summer a Grove City-area woman “surrendered” her newborn (and on Bastardette) into the Ohio “safe haven” program. Later, she and her mother talked to Columbus Dispatch reporter Rita Price about what had happened According to them, the 20-year old mother agreed to the “safe haven” under the influence of delivery-room medication. She received no counseling and was under the impression that “safe haven was a “Christian adoption program” not an anonymous baby mill. Naturally, officials at Doctors Hospital have refused comment. Last we heard, the mother had gone to court to retrieve her baby. (I am working on a longer piece on this case and ODJFS shenanigans for here and broader publication). This woman is one of the very few “safe haven” mothers who have been granted a public voice, be it ever so small. Now, we have another voice: Melissa from Michigan. Melissa sent her story to blogger Baby Love Child, in response to an earlier entry on “safe haven” mislabeling.” While her comments remain on that entry, BLC has also posted them together with a short commentary in a separate entry A Critical Perspective on Baby Safe Haven Baby Dump Programs. Melissa tells us that Continue Reading →

FIND MY FAMILY: WHERE’S THE RECORDS?

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Did any of you watch Find My Family last night? It’s the talk of the AdoptaSphere. “Unfortunately,” I didn’t. The CRAZY HOUSEGUEST commandeered my TV to download off his Play Station (or whatever he does) a lecture by some crackpot talking about lizard people who colonized earth a million years ago, circle the earth eternally to”protect” their half-blood progeny (us), and promise to unplug the Federal Reserve if things get too dicey. They also oppose the European Union and Barrack Obama. (I am NOT kidding) It’s always folly to talk about a TV show you haven’t seen, but since this is my blog I’ll do it anyway. So far, the reaction in AdoptionLaLaLand to Find My Family, except for Lorraine Dusky who liked it, has been a lot of “triggering” and weeping over reunion, even if adoptaviewers claim they hate the show. Beat me. It feels so good. I figure Find My Family must be pretty bourgeois since do-gooders aren’t complaining as they did over Who’s Your Daddy, which, with its big boobed adoptee/soft porn actress on the make, truly was fun. (NOTE to the National Council for Adoption and The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute: Nobody cares what you Continue Reading →

MARLEY MISSING FROM SHELTER

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I haven’t said anything about this before, but now that it’s hit the press, I thought it best if you heard about it from me personally. I was put up for adoption. A few days ago I was “surrendered” to the Citizens for Humane Action shelter in Columbus: Marley Missing from Citizens for Humane Action Center… but don’t worry, I was stolen back. And during adoption hours no less. It was quite an experience, and not over yet. Yesterday we were in Obetz, but I think we’re headed for St. Paul. It’s tough blogging on the lam , especially since my parents won’t tell me why they took me to CHA in the first place. I know a lot of people call me a dog and a bitch, but I didn’t think my own family would disown me. I mean what have I done to deserve this? Personally, I think it has something to do with National Adoption Awareness Month. Mom and dad were touched by the sad stories of desperate lonely couples they read about in the paper. I believe in a moment of utter but misjudged compassion, gave me up to make someone else happy. Surrender in haste. Continue Reading →

THE AAC AND ADOPTEE RIGHTS: A REPLY TO THE EXAMINER

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The Examiner has a 4-part interview with Eileen McQuade, president of the American Adoption Congress. Part 3 is dedicated to the AAC’s policy on records access. Eileen talks out of both sides of her mouth: Adoptees never agreed to the sealing of their birth certificates, and no one had the right to forbid them access to the key document that is available to all other citizens. The AAC does not believe that birth parents have the right to veto access to the birth certificate, because they relinquished all parental rights, including the right to control the birth certificate access. The appropriate balance is the one enacted in Oregon, New Hampshire, and Maine – the birthparent can file a contact preference form, to indicate a willingness for contact. and The AAC believes that the decision to compromise must be made at the state level, depending on the assessment of local advocacy groups. I’ve been meaning to write a response to a statement along the same lines that Eileen made in the last issue of the AAC newsletter, The Decree. I still intend to, but this Examiner statement needs to be answered now. I sent off a response to the Examiner, but Continue Reading →

PICTURES AT AN EXHIBITION

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Well, not really, but I started a major project of scanning and downloading lots of picture on my personal Facebook page. I’m working on strictly Bastard Nation pictures this weekend, but geared up with some Bastard Nation activities outside of the organization. Much of what I have is pre-digial camera so it’s a big scan job. I’ll have more pictures soon, but here’s the first patch California Open 2001 party, press conference and hearing for AB 1349, January 2002 Bastard Nation at the AAC 2007 Bastard Nation at the Ethics in Adoption Conference 2007 Bastard Nation at the AAC 2009 You don’t have to have a Facebook account to see this.

ABC NEWS LOOKING FOR ADOPTEES: DISCRIMINATION

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From Bastardette’s Mailbox: A reporter is looking for domestic adoptees who have experienced adoption-related discrimination and bias that carried over into adulthood. If anyone fits this description and is interested in talking to the media about it, please contact the reporter directly at: Susan Donaldson JamesReporter/ProducerABCNews.com7 W. 66th St., 2nd FloorNew York, N.Y. 10023212-456-4875 (office)609-529-0268 (cell) This may be related to the report the Evan B. Donaldson released today. When I get around to reading it, I may have something to say. Maybe not. You can find the Executive Summary with a link to the whole report here BEYOND CULTURE CAMP: PROMOTING HEALTHY IDENTITY FORMATION IN ADOPTION Authors: Hollee McGinnis, Susan Livingston Smith, Dr. Scott D. Ryan, and Dr. Jeanne A. HowardPublished: 2009 November. New York NY: Evan B. Donaldson Adoption InstituteDocument Type: Research (112 pages)Availability: PDF Full Report | Web Page | Press Release | Executive Summary This study, released in November, is the broadest, most extensive examination of adult adoptive identity to date, based on input from the primary experts on the subject: adults who were adopted as children. The principal recommendations of the 112 page study include: * Expand parental preparation and post-placement support for those adopting Continue Reading →

ADOPTION IS A FEMINIST ISSUE: DAWN FRIEDMAN TAKES ON THE NATIONAL COUNCIL FOR ADOPTION

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Hey, Bastardette’s friend, BEA (Buckeyes for Equal Accss) stalwart, and blogger Dawn Friedman takes the National Council for Adoption to task big time in BITCH today! Adopt-ation: A feminist take on the state of the adoption industry (NOTE TO DAWN: How can Bastardette pitch to BITCH!) Here’s a couple snips (NOTE: go to the original to download her links. Some aren’t working with this format)The NCFA is so all about adoption that they commonly speak out against the rights of adopted people to make their point. Their fight against the open records movement, (which argues that adult adopted persons have a right to their original, pre-adoption birth certificates) is based on the belief that it causes people to abort otherwise adoptable children. Obviously, some number of women with unplanned pregnancies, who would otherwise choose adoption, would choose abortion if they could not choose adoption with the assurance of privacy. What that number would be is impossible to tell, but what does it need to be? The loss of human potential from even one abortion that would have been an adoption is unknowable. And the ratio of adoptions to abortions in New Hampshire is already extremely low. In 1996, New Hampshire Continue Reading →