Category Archives: Adoption

Some paps will go to any lengths to make their little wish come true. Take this woman, for instance, featured in today’s OSU Lantern. Blind man reports identity theft A blind man alleges that someone has fraudulently used his name to apply for a mortgage, credit cards and food stamps, and may even have attempted to legally adopt him. According to reports, the 26-year-old Columbus resident says a woman who lives behind a Morse Road WalMart applied for the credit between Sept. 1, 2009, and Sunday. He says that the woman may have attempted to obtain power of attorney over him and possibly attempted to adopt him. Police referred the man to the fraud unit of Columbus Police. I suppose the scenario would be for the woman to “adopt” her neighbor through some kind of wayback dated forged paperwork (something she dreamed up watching the The Hallmark Channel’s Adoption show while smoking crack), get his POA, and go to town on his bank account. Ohio allows adult adoption, but I’m still trying to figure out how to adopt a 26-year old man against his will. I thought only babies were allowed to get that railroad.

Happy New Year to all Bastardette’s friends and supporters. I couldn’t do it without you. The video below isn’t THAT far off from some of the parties I’ve done in St. Petersburg

Admittedly, Bastaradette has a warped view of Christmas. Whenever we think of Christmas we think of Hawai’i. This comes from an early and incessant exposure to the Andrews Sisters hit Christmas Island. We also like Leon Redbone’s version, but somebody stole our tape at an office Christmas party years ago, and the version isn’t on YouTube. Despite knowing better, we spent the other evening on YouTube looking for a good video of Christmas Island. Unfortunately, none we found were acceptable for a high class blog like The Daily Bastardette. What we did find, though, is Puka Shells by Ukulele Ray and the KoKoNutz: Puka shellsPuka shellsIt’s Mele Kalikimaka time in the islands… (not to be confused with Arthur Lyman’s Puka Shells) So, kick back with a Suffering Bastard, or two or three, and enjoy.

As I wrote on FaceBook yesterday, Bastardette is going out on a limb and will attempt to post an entry every day until the end of the year. There’s certainly enough to write about. And even with the November NaBloPomo, I still need to catch up. Today’s is up, though I may post a second one if I start now. The picture to the left is my Mad Men Yourself self-portrait. I don’t smoke, but if things keep going the way they are in AdoptionLand I may take it up. And Mad Men withdrawal is wiping me out. Still.

Just in time for Christmas! The perfect gift for closet-hiding birthparents leaving in fear that their bastard may return to piss of their porch or worse over the holidays. Protect your 2nd Amendment Right to shoot your bastard before it shoots you! THE BACK UP Buy one for each side of your bed. Don’t let your bastard ruin your life! Act Now!

There’s a good discussion on the New York Times Motherlode Adopted children, by the numbers. Blogger Lisa Belkin sure does know how to piss off bastards! Some of our friends are posting including regular Bastardette commenters. I’ve posted twice so far. My last response, which I’m re-posting here, is in a reply to #14 PW: Based upon their negative comments, I am curious if the adult adoptee commenters feel they would have been better off had they NOT being adopted? Here’s what I said: Whether someone feels if they’d been better off not being adopted isn’t the point. What we are talking about here is the systematic, state-facilitated erasure of identity and history from the adopted and the continued discrimination adoptees are subjected to as a result. While there are definitely psychological/identity issues for many who are adopted, I’m speaking specifically of legal discrimination. First and foremost, the sealing of our birth certificates from ourselves. Adoptees are the only class of people who the government forbids from accessing their own birth certificates. The original birth certificates of adoptees are impounded by the state when an adoption is finalized, sealed, and held under lock by government authorities. States, in fact, keep Continue Reading →

I’m doing some editing and research today. I don’t have much time and asked the Bad Cats, Abbie and Jonathan, to write my blog. As foundlings themselves, they are very sensitive about adoption, especially their own. All we know of their past is that their mother, suspected of being an undocumented Siamese, was allegedly run over by a horse trailer in West Virginia when they were but a few days old. The babies, and their brother Tiger, were rescued by Bruce, Brenda, and Sean and, brought to Columbus. Eventually they ended up with me. The kitties wanted to tell their own story. They spent the day scouring the ‘net hunting down possible relatives and friends of their mother Unfortunately, their drive-by dad is unknown. Everyone they talked to either clammed up at the words,” Iz youz my famblieez?” or told them to “shutz yer trap, be grateful you iz in Columbus, Ohio and not on a farm outside of Buckhannon eating micees.” The poor kitties were so traumatized they had to double up on catnip and take to their respective beds in their respective rooms. (They suffer huge attachment issues and refuse to share a bed, much less a dinner.) Continue Reading →

I haven’t said anything about this before, but now that it’s hit the press, I thought it best if you heard about it from me personally. I was put up for adoption. A few days ago I was “surrendered” to the Citizens for Humane Action shelter in Columbus: Marley Missing from Citizens for Humane Action Center… but don’t worry, I was stolen back. And during adoption hours no less. It was quite an experience, and not over yet. Yesterday we were in Obetz, but I think we’re headed for St. Paul. It’s tough blogging on the lam , especially since my parents won’t tell me why they took me to CHA in the first place. I know a lot of people call me a dog and a bitch, but I didn’t think my own family would disown me. I mean what have I done to deserve this? Personally, I think it has something to do with National Adoption Awareness Month. Mom and dad were touched by the sad stories of desperate lonely couples they read about in the paper. I believe in a moment of utter but misjudged compassion, gave me up to make someone else happy. Surrender in haste. Continue Reading →