Just a quick note!

Since mid-June Baby Love Child has been doing a tremendous amount work on adoption news horrors. She has published a veritable bibliography of online resources on Enna Baretto, Dmitry Yakolev/Chase Harrington, Judith Leekin, and the latest Guatemala adoption scandal. She is the only bastard blogger to my knowledge to pick up on Andrea Curry-Demus, the woman in the Pittsburgh area accused over the weekend of murdering a pregnant woman for her soon-due-baby. And then BLC analyzes–something much needed in the adoption blogosphere where cut and paste often passes for blogging. She puts the pieces together.

BLC‘s blog is a tremendous resource for activists, researchers, the press, and us just plain bastard folks who are trying to get a handle on the never-end spew of adoptanightmares rolling out daily. Just go over there and scroll around.

I also highly recommend BLC’s July 10 entry ARD: For Those Going to N’awlins: In part she writes:

The city is at this very moment a place where matters of survival are still paramount to so many.

A protracted battle where the future of the city is being decided in many cases, not by the neighborhoods, but by those who can tear them down, as part of building their vision of what they think the next New Orleans should be played out against the backdrop of many factors not merely wealth and poverty, nor even a binary notion of “race” (N’awlins has never been merely some matter of “Black and White” it’s a complex gumbo of French and Spanish, Haitians, Free men and former slaves, Cubans, First Nations peoples, and now post-Katrina, particularly Hispanics. All in that Creole, Cajun/Acadian mix. )

And that makes it one hell of a distinct place for adoptees to be trying to do their own efforts on behalf of our own equality.

As I wrote back on January 10th:

How do we do what we need to do in New Orleans while not overlooking or in anyway downplaying the magnitude of the realities New Orleans itself currently faces? On that one, I have no real answer yet. Yeah, it’s going to be strange protesting for open records in a place where day to day fighting for SURVIVAL is a genuine reality. I’m still trying to figure this one out, but the bottom line is we’re there because they’re there- the National Conference of State Legislatures’ Annual Meeting.)

Those still going would do well not be ‘tone deaf’ to the realities of N’awlins.


Spend your tourism dollars locally. Tip well. Be kind.

Learn from your time in the city. N’awlins continues to be one of America’s most unique and interesting cities. Take time to listen.

Be respectful of the fact that there are neighbors, family members, and friends who are now spread far and wide, and are missed constantly by those who have chosen to stay and fight for the heart and soul of the city. Some may have left permanently, others are alluded to as ‘visiting a spell’ somewhere else, with hopes that perhaps they may eventually return. While the most immediate areas ARD protesters are going to be in may appear ‘just fine’, there is plenty of the Gulf Coast that has simply been swept away.


In all, I suppose I’m saying be clueful. Realize that where you’re going to be; speaking about the demand that adoptees receive equal treatment under law in a place where law and even treatment as human beings broke apart.

I have known BLC for over 11 years. I like to call her my Theory Girl. She cuts through the bullshit. Her work, and work that I am sure is coming over the next few months, is invaluable in developing bastard theory and critique. This is important stuff. I learn from BLC daily.


  1. Indeed. BLT certainly deserves to be applauded for her exhaustive research and for providing a invaluable online resource on important cases relating to adoption.
    However, I can only imagine that the link you provide under her blog name was inadvertently chosen, since it leads the reader, not to the particular case histories she has so diligently researched, but to the record of a disagreement that took place some weeks ago between people who, regardless of their personal differences, are focused on the same goal.

    A mistake. Surely.

  2. I read BLC blog, and I didn’t realize Ron’s wife was sick, and I am very sorry about that. I hope they can get rid of her tumor-Sen. Kennedy was diagnoised with one as well, here in Mass, but I hear he is going to be alright, so I hope Ron’s wife fairs as well-For once in my internet life, I am going to be quiet about how I feel about DAR, or nuDAR as it is now called-I do like Kali, and I think she was put under pressure she wasn’t experianced with enough to deal with, and I will stop right there. I am just wondering though, if anyone knows what is going on in NOLA today-if they are still doing this, and how many people are there. Thanks for any info I get through replys if there are any.

  3. Kippa, you’re behaving in a paranoid fashion.

    I came close to posting on here last night relating to your earlier comments, but then decided it wasn’t worth it.

    But if you’re going to basically go around seeing conspiracies under every rock, I suppose I’ll have to point out the obvious.

    I was not aware of Marley’s piece about my blog yesterday morning until later.

    Her bookmark piece about my site went up about two hours before my piece, entitled Adoptee Rights Demonstration / Day for Adoptee Rights some history and Gershom’s “storm” went up.

    Where you see in effect, ‘conspriacy’ in the real world, two unrelated things happened.

    Note that in the very piece that Marley linked to, ARD- For those going to N’awlins I said:

    This is not about dissuading anyone.

    Is that not clear enough?

    Where you see “very deliberately orchestrated and timed” the reality is simply two bloggers both writing each on their own blogs.

    Paranoid much?

  4. Thanks Marley-I am glad she is going to be okay-I have never really talked to Ron, and never to his wife, but I respect Ron as a wonderful activst(and that is an understatement) I just thought it was sad, after all the work he does, he might be faced with a tragedy like that. I am glad, he and his wife won’t be.

  5. This is the Abrazo facebook fundraising page- Open Adoption Rocks.

    HOWEVER it has changed in significant ways since it was active, this is a revised version.

    I have a copy of the statement Abrazo put up on the page when they finally ended the “open adoption rocks” facebook fundraising in my post entitled ARD- Abrazo finally ends their “open adoption rocks” facebook fundraising

    Their statement, “We regret to inform you…”, tried to Blame BN saying as the reason they ceased stating in part:

    that the support of adoption agencies. such as Abrazo, is not welcomed by certain adoptee rights groups such as Bastard Nation, former sponsor of the Adoption Rights Protest.

    Therefore at the request of the Demonstration for Adoptee Rights, we are cancelling our plans to attend the Protest in New Orleans and disbanding our efforts to raise funds for the event. We will henceforth be returning all funds to the original donors or redirecting them to alternative organizations, at each donor’s request.

    The statement appeared to go up June 4th. Ron had contacted them on May 30th.

    I pointed out part of the problem with “redirecting them to alternative organizations” in my post:

    Their offer to return donations or redirect them with the donor’s consent to other organizations (some of whom do not have the uncompromising open records stance, that the Adoptee Rights Demonstration and Bastard Nation held dear) hardly ‘fixes’ what they have done.

    The ethics of Abrazo having collecting monies off the work of another unrelated organization without our knowledge or consent into Abrazo’s own 501c3 non-profit is the core of the matter here.

    Now as for whether or not the donors eventually ended up; the money (assumedly, though unconfirmed) returned by Abrazo on to the Adoptee Rights Demonstration as individual donors, a regifting if you will,


    2.whether what was left of the ARD organizers after BN and Ron and I and my partner left went on decide they would take industry money

    remains unknown.

    It’s something you’d have to ask those who put ARD on. The rest of us were not party to those decisions.

    (Amy did point out on the following Monday that there was supposedly ALREADY a donation from Abrazo in the ARD, something neither BN nor I was aware of at the time we were working on the ARD.)

    IF current ARD organizers do a final accounting/report of where the donations went you would be able to look for such there, though if it came in via individual contributions that would be of course, then be individual contributions.

  6. There definitely was no conspiracy or product placement scheme here. We were unaware of what the other was doing. BLC’s entry on the history and theory of the original ARD is excellent. It certainly reminded me of things I’d forgotten.

  7. Mahalo, Marley 🙂

    She is correct in that while Abrazo made the statement that the funds were going to returned to donors or redirected to other orgs, etc, we (as former organizers on ARD/DAR) simply have no way of knowing what actually happened to the money.

    It’s one of many important questions that remain unanswered.

  8. And, as I didn’t say (but will now), coincidental or not – and I am persuaded that the timing was coincidental if remarkable – your blog entry goes way beyond providing a diligent analysis and record.
    It is quite exhaustively rancorous.
    I don’t expect others to share my opinion. They might find it quite delightful.

  9. This is hysterical, BLC is one of the most self-important, unreadable blow-hards on the net!

    She is the worst kind of psuedo intellectual with no command over her native language.

    You would make me laugh Marley if this wasn’t all so sad.

    Picking on Kali because she can do what you cannot.

    Jealousy does not become you.

    You guys are like the Wizard of Oz, there is really nothing there.

  10. am glad your blog went up BLC, because I understand much more what was going on-since I don’t go into AAAFC anymore and don’t even bother to read the threads(as I still suffer post tramuatic AAAFC syndrome )I wasn’t savvy in all that went down with this whole DAR thing. I don’t agree with everyones opionions on everything concerning this, but that of course is standard in Adoptionland. I was aware of what Albalzo did-let me ask you-was any of that money ever given to DAR finally? Or have they kept it for themselves? Just when I think adoption agencies can’t go any lower…

    You used to post as Burned didn’t you, and we banned you after you threatened other members.

    I remember you, you and Marley will get on gangbusters, you are in the right place.

    Good luck and send money

  11. Look you want ‘conspiracy’?

    It turns out both Amyadoptee and Gershom herself were pointing at my homepage on the 22nd does that mean THEY were part of the same vast ‘conspiracy’ as well?

    Coincidences happen, get over it.

    Unless of course you chose to go truly nuts and decide Gershom and Amy were ‘in on’ some ‘plot to destroy ARD’. That’s a laugh and a half.

    (Personally, I think I’d wait for the movie on that one!)

    As for Joy’s blog post, all I can say is If I’m “Marley’s mouthpiece” someone might want to let me know about that… .

    Seriously Joy, haven’t you ever had a friend? Someone who politically you find their stuff spurring you on and apparently, I won’t speak for Marley here, but apparently she finds my stuff useful as well.

    If not, well, I guess you wouldn’t understand.

    You really have no clue.

  12. I am so out of your league Ms. Child, I am not surprised that, that is the best you can come up with.

    Like taking candy from a oh a BABY.

  13. That post of mine that you are referring to was in response to the article about the babystealing/mother killing woman. It was written and posted on July 20.

    I guess just another accidental distortion of the truth.

  14. Oh give the poor little love child, the burn victim, and Marley a break, we all know they are prone to mistakes.

    What can we really expect from them? There’s been a long track record here of misjudgments.

    At least they have each other.

  15. “Look you want ‘conspiracy’?”
    I assume you’re talking to me.
    Do you understand English? I wrote ” *I am persuaded that the timing was COINCIDENTAL*, if remarkable. ”

    “Coincidences happen,”
    See above.
    “get over it.”
    I have. Before you start giving other people that advice, you might try getting over a few things yourself.

    “It turns out both Amyadoptee and Gershom herself were pointing at my homepage on the 22nd does that mean THEY were part of the same vast ‘conspiracy’ as well?”
    The most recent reference to your homepage on Amy’s blog was, as has already been pointed out (by Amy herself, I do believe), on on the 20th, not the 22nd. I don’t know about Gershom. I haven’t checked.

    And, by the way, I never said – or thought – that there was a ‘plot to destroy’ (*where* did those quotation marks come from?) ARD.
    But I do think that to post as you did, especially on the eve of the protest, was exquisitely mean spirited. It’s hard to believe it wasn’t motivated in large part by the desire to damage the reputations of people who at that time were way were too busily engaged in preparing for the protest to have any idea what was being said about them.

  16. Addie is right though, we shouldn’t pick on them, we should let them enjoy their criticisms and involvement in the drama while they still can.

    I mean there is no way we are touching them with a 10 foot pole next year, we have learned our lesson.

    Next year Sabina and her one friend won’t be able to brag about her 3 days of involvement thinking that being on an email list counted as involvement, Marley won’t get to do the big daily dramadette manoeuvre about the last minute pull-out because we are not letting them near us.

    We get more publicity than they do anyway, they had nothing to offer but harm.

    The disingenuity of this whole post is funny, I mean we all know that no one reads Sabina’s blog as it is garbled nonsense and the whole, “you love me best” is scary and needy. No one would even know about Baby Whine-bag’s post if Marley did not direct them, this was planned.

    Sabina, the simple truth is I can run circles around you, so don’t even bother.

    Next year as their fingers itch to criticize from the safety of their homes they can simply wait and stare lovingly at their sperm/bastard fading logo and remember the days when they thought about doing something.

    These people should have been people we could look up to, they should have mentored us, I hope I never get to the point where I spit on the younger generation out of jealousy.

  17. P.S.

    I could give a rat’s ass about publicity in re: my activism, in fact I actively try to avoid it, I find it all a bit embarrassing to be honest.

  18. oh yeah, I found your last post, you had decided we were all social workers and people did feel threatened by you repeating that your boyfriend was going to come teach us a thing or two at the protest, and that we couldn’t have children so we set up this fake adoptee forum.

    You know, I sincerely wish you well. I am sorry about what has been done to you.

    « Reply #19 on: February 05, 2008, 05:21:57 PM » Quote Modify Remove Warn Split Topic

    To use you like you use me STUPID-wanted the Barren Bitches to see my newest work-and I will see you twats at the rally in july…my bf has a few things he wants to say to you.. until then……..FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!LMAO

  19. “Joy you are truly an ugly, ugly person. I think I posted a pic of you in my lastest blog, and you are as ugly on the outside too-someone had hacked my space and sent out a phony email from me-the police when they came here, didn’t even say anything about what it said, that is how sure they were that everything was fine-I found out it was a faux suicide threat from someone else. For all I know you could of done that Joy-maybe you hacked my account and wrote it. Would be just like you….”

    Why would I have the time or inclination to hack your myspace?

    What do I care about your myspace, I didn’t even know you had one.

    I think maybe you should sue us for verbal abuse, maybe Marley and Sabina should too. That sounds like a good use of your time

  20. “”There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat, there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to… The Outer Limits. “”

  21. Improper wrote “If anyone wants a real life Twilight Zone experiance, go to the AAAFC forum…”

    and type “Burned” into the search box.

  22. “Kippa, I wonder if you talk to the child you threw away in Adoption like you talk to me.”
    Wonder on. I’ve just returned from a very enjoyable stay with my reunited son and his family.

    “You are just like those in the NCFA, twisting facts and shifing blame on the people you victimize.”
    Like you’re twisting facts and shifting responsibility onto the AAAFC forum where you advised people to go if they want to have a “real life Twilight Zone experiance.”

  23. “. . . REACTING to how BN pulled out of the Protest, IS the problem, not that they did to begin with.”
    Assumptions, assumptions, assumptions.
    I’m not reacting to any such thing.
    I’m reacting to what I felt was a mean-spirited attack on the people who mounted the protest.

    “Your verbal abuse should be directed at Albazo, not BN-who the hell can blame them for not trusting an Adoption Agency”
    I support BN for not wanting to accept money from adoption agencies. I think they are entirely right in that.

  24. “Yet you ruthlessly attack Marley & BLC, happily along with joy and addie pray, that this blog posted a blog about BLC, who is critical of the Protest Members who are critical of BN for pulling out…

    Can’t you READ? I’ve already said that I am persuaded that it was a COINCIDENCE that the one blog (Marley’s) linked to another (BLC’s) in which BLC dissed the AAAFC organizers of the protest – including Kali.

  25. Kippa and I have known each other for years. There was no maliciousness in her comments here. Differences in opinion or perceptions are not a reason to be overly upset. Her position in the bogus “triad” has nothing to do with anything.

  26. Yes, I am also convinced it was a coincidence that Marley linked to Sabina’s fascinating account of her wondrous 3 day involvement of the protest and the Kali-bash.

    Because that is just so believable, kind of like their reasons for leaving us holding the bag.

    Good work Guys!

  27. Well I guess time will tell, but it took quite a bit of recovery to swing this protest after our last helpers coincidentally disappeared.

    You freaked everyone out Burned because you started repeatedly posting all this animal rights stuff on an adoption forum in all caps, obsessively, Kippa merely suggested you find a more appropriate forum for the animal rights stuff.

    You scared people Burned, whether you meant to or not, you scared people.

    As for burning my bridges with some adoptees, obviously I am willing to take that chance, just took it again with another dear friend of the present company.

  28. P.S.

    The DAR stands for the Daughters of the American Revolution

    NuDAR? that is odd, google that and it is a GPS device for finding strip clubs.

    You guys aren’t the organizers, your silly names are just sills.

  29. “Kippa Herring who I was never rude too, started attacking me first in that AAAFC forum, just because we don’t agree on other subjects-like psychiatry-“

    Thanks to you (for providing the link), people can now go there and form their own opinion about that.

  30. My personal opinion on that tribute site to me, well, I hadn’t actually ever read it until you posted it here Burned, but I laughed really hard for about a 1/2 hour.

    It is hysterical and sadly that woman spent so much time with her ludicrous suggestions and time, and for such a banal piece of work.

    Some people just suck and their is nothing you do but pity them. Even their best efforts come out like a schoolchilds.

    Sabina is like that too, she posted an announcement, I kid you not, that if anyone is “looking for her work” on the AAAFC, that kills me that is so funny. She removed, “her work”. No one has ever looked for your work Sabina and we still have it if we get any requests for self-important nonsensical ramblings.

    I am sure it will help Marley, give her something on the plane to read, St. Petersburg is far, and absolutely central in the fight for domestic adoptees to get their records right?

    Isn’t that BN’s stance?

    Did you all get a chance to see Ron’s comments on my blog, they were very poetic about BN being a husk to blow away in the wind?

    I wonder why so many people left if you all were fighting the good fight?

  31. Can I ask a question here…just curious..

    Why are Improper Adoptee and Joy, hijacking Bastardette’s Blog? They are only growling and spitting at each other about…who knows! Why aren’t they using their own Blogs for their Tough Gal Competition? Please no offense…but jeez..aren’t you gals tired yet? Of course is just me talking, I never presume to speak for anyone else. Just wondering..

  32. My! This has got Beyond Byzantine.

    ” Kippa started all these attacks”
    Not on you, Improper/Burned.
    And as far as “attacking” BLC is concerned, I consider it more of a counter-attack. That a link led me from Marley’s blog to hers was an unfortunate confluence of events.
    Seriously, if anyone has the interest/fortitude/stamina (which, at this point, is doubtful) to search back, they will find that the original dissing (first posted on the eve of the protest) was to the people who staged it, and this came from BLC.
    I could expand upon this, but really I’m weary. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

    As far as *your* particular issues with the AAAFC forum are concerned, I simply suggested that you take your passionate commitment to animal rights to a more appropriate place. I seem to remember that you made some kind of correlation between animal abuse and adoption that I felt overstepped the line. Whatever. There was a bit of joking around, but none of it was specifically about you.

    Who Betsy Ashby is, I do not know. I had no part in her excommunication. I’ve since googled her, and all I can discover is that at one time she was involved a dispute with a Welsh Wiccan group and has a web page that includes allegations of sexual abuse towards the people with whom she was in conflict.

  33. “I would be more than happy to have this taken over to my blog,”
    Then why haven’t you? I just checked, and you haven’t even tried.

    “but joy, addie and kippa would not do that because then I would have control, as in approving or rejecting comments, and since they are all power tripping and power abusing women, due to their forum, they only want to have the game played their way.”
    Nice try (NOT), Improper.

    Oh, yes, and “due to their forum”? MY forum?
    I’m no longer even a member of the forum.

    Hey, I’m free-lance, and lovin’ it 🙂

  34. “Bullshit Kippa. You and Sweet n Low were rude and mean as hell to me, and all that you said has been deleted from that nasty little forum-all the attacks on me from everyone who slaughtered me on every thread are GONE-“

    All ‘Sweet n Low” did was to disagree with you, as can be seen on the thread titled “Re: HUNTINGDON LIFE SCIENCES ABUSES ANIMALS AND LITERALLY LAUGHS OUTLOUD”
    As far as I’m aware NOTHING was deleted, other than the “personal attack” that caused the thread to be closed – and which I, rightly or wrongly, am guessing came from you.

    As far as the so-called attack on your anti-psychiatry stance that you brought up earlier is concerned, that came under “Re: Family Matters: Secrecy and Disclosure in the History of Adoption.”
    The final post in that thread came from me and said:
    “I totally agree with you, Burned, that some terrible things have been commited in psychiatry’s name – sometimes through inadequate knowledge and sometime for less benign reasons. And I’m truly sorry if you’ve suffered from less than scrupulous practices.
    But I also think that modern psychiatry, when pracised with integrity by qualified people, is able to help a lot of people lead rich lives they’d have otherwise been denied.”

    Hardly an attack by any standards. Or even cruel.
    Anyone can check on the above.

    You wrote “I don’t like you, you don’t like me, so we will just leave it at that.”
    Actually I neither like or dislike you.
    But I agree we should just leave it at that.

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