A few days ago a newborn was left illegally (that is, outside of government-preferred “legal” baby dump specs) on a church stoop in Federal Way, Washington. The unnamed mother has since turned herself in, and as of this writing, no charges have been filed. The Seattle Times asked Kathy Satow of the Pekin, Indiana-based Newborn Lifeline Network about women who abandon their newborns. Here is her response: Satow said that many people assume young mothers who abandon their babies are teens from underprivileged backgrounds, but she said that’s not usually the case. Instead, she said, they typically are 21- to 24-year-old college students who go “a little haywire” out on their own for the first time, she said. They “don’t want to test their security net” — namely their own parents — and so go into crisis once they deliver. So the complex issues surrounding nearly all newborn abandonment: fear, social isolation, hidden pregnancy, pregnancy denial, dangerous delivery, poverty, inaccessibilty of social services, untreated mental illness, substance abuse, and domestic violence have morphed into a simple college girl problem of “going a little haywire” 500 miles away from home for the first time. Maybe that makes baby dumping more marketable.