National Adoption Awareness Month will soon be upon us. We can hardly wait for mainstream media to gag their cotton candy down our throats.

Our not-favorite adoption site,, has jump-started the party with a big spread. We are particularly intrigued by The National Adoption Month Activities Calendar and its nifty suggestions on how to celebrate this fun-filled month with our families.

Did you know, for instance, that National Adoption Month is a swell time to cook a meal for your family? (November 1). I didn’t.

That on November 16 you should prepare a meal that reflects your child’s heritage? My friend Rocco suggested a possum and squirrel casserole–stringy but elegant. I was thinking more along the lines of ramen noodles and hot dogs. Whatever menu is chosen, though, it must be prepared on a hotplate to remind your little adoptees what they escaped via God and your bank account.

Or how about renting an adoption themed movie? (November 20) I like that. I suggest Natural Enemy or Orphan. Our classic movie fans may enjoy The Bad Seed or Penny Serenade

Thanksgiving is for sending thank you notes to those who made your celebration possible: You know, like your adoption agent, your judge, your bankster, and especially your “birthmother” for her selfless hefty donation to your cause.

On November 28 we’re told to write a letter to our local paper regarding our pet issue. Not a bad suggestion. For years, Bastardette has vowed to write an op ed for the Columbus Dispatch over sealed records. Frankly, boredom has taken over each time. How does one write a 300 word essay on the subject without breaking rules of nice talk? Perhaps we shall try again this year. Or maybe we’ll just send in a page of **%@##@ s and let it go at that.

Bonus: Here’s an entire hour of adoption blather courtesy of the James Gang show on KCOL Fox News Radio in Greeley, Colorado that makes NCFA look like Bastard Nation. (Scroll down to 11/16/07 and click on “listen.” It’s somewhat broken up in separate links and you]ll probably have to slog through other talk first or after or in between.) The show features segments with an adoptajunkie, who has has 2 bios and 28 adopted kids (age 3 – 38 years) and with 6 family members operates ACC Adoptions (not the American Adoption Congress), a Nightline embryo adoption snowflake pimp, and nazi Nathan Gwilliam.


  1. Well… ya know… I actually DO have a possum recipe if you want one. It’s from my grandmother. It starts out: “Catch the opossum and soften it up by feeding it molasses, prepared baby food and honey for a week to ten days.” (I’m not kidding. Holidays were… umm… tasty at her house.)

  2. 300 word shorts in your local paper wouldn’t be a bad idea, if people actually read newspapers today. Better, get yourself on local television. One of my local stations runs a feature called “Good Question” each night. Maybe I’ll ask them why OBCs are sealed here in MN.

  3. OMG! That calender cracked me up in a kind of grim way

    Send an email to all of your friends and family about National Adoption Day.

    Okay then! I’m sure they will all be delighted to read about how damaging adoption is and how I hate it with a passion!

  4. Dear Oh Crap–

    As you may know, I’ve written about Madame X films and am crazy about them. I fear I’ve never seen They Call It Sin. So many of the pre-code films aren’t available, but then I haven’t looked lately. A precursor to Loretta’s own experience?

    A kind person sent me That Hagan Girl a couple years ago, the universally panned Shirley Temple-Ronald Reagan movie. I love it. Though a bit far-fetched, it’s one of the best adoption films I’ve ever seen. Shirley Temple gave a stunning performance of bastard angst, though it may be something only a bastard could see. Is there anything worse than being a high school bastard? Lots of loose ends are left untied which is a bit disconcerting., but also leaves us to wonder what the truth really is. Or is it just bad writing? Probably.

  5. I just love the assumption that being adopted saved me from a life of poverty and suffering. Although I was “saved” from being forced to join the Rainbow Girls LOL

  6. Thanks for the reminder of what I always forget until it’s too late. I absolutely love the Thanksgiving ideas, being that adoptees always must be so very grateful to be separated from our natural families and feel like second class citizens who cannot have access to our birth certificates. I guess I should be thankful for the lies printed on my amended birth certificate. After all, these very lies make me seem so very nonbastardette.

  7. We beemommies who made such a “hefty donation” (lol) have retaliated against the November Adoption Yuckfest by declaring November to be National Strange and Mournful Day. I have a tri-colored ribbon that I wear for the entire month and am ready and willing to explain its significance to anyone who asks. I’ll be re-publishing my blog on this for anyone who wants to know about it on Nov. 1.

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