We Lost Another One. In Memoriam: Addie Recoy (1965-2021)

One often calms one’s grief by recounting it.” — Pierre Corneille

More sadness in AdoptionLand today.

Addie Recoy, longtime adoptee rights activist and Bastard National, passed away yesterday after a long battle with cancer, She celebrated her 56th birthday two weeks ago. Addie didn’t like attention and didn’t want the seriousness of her illness made public. Only a handful of very close friends knew, about her condition, and her passing has been a shock to us all. I don’t know if an obituary will be published, (if it is, I will add it)  but friends and colleagues are posting memories and condolences throughout social media. You can read some of their tributes on her Facebook page.

Addie was one dedicated bastard.  Around 2005-2006 she founded the Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change message board, an important community-building platform that spawned lively discussions on adoptee equality, search and reunion, along with adoptee rights networking, and activism. Permanent friendships were made there.  I never met Addie in person, but my first solid memory of her is from AAAC when she (ahem!) attacked some crappy jive deform going down in her home state of Missouri. Oh, yeah, Addie was righteous.

Addie was also co-founder of the Adoptee Right Coalition and sat on its board.  When the organization jumped the shark and decided to support any POS bill that walked through the front door, she jumped the ship. Addie was righteous!

Addie was also a blogger–According to Addie: Angry Adoptee.   Her blogs were short and sweet. She could bite.  Here’s her Welcome-to-National-Adoption-Month-2013 blog — I Could Have Been a Kingpin--published on November 5, 2013–exactly 8 years to the day of her passing.

Good thing adoption got to me before the criminal element did, or I could be running a cocaine fueled, weapons dealing, legitimate government overthrowing, human trafficking racket.

Adoption saved me from all that, and I’m grateful. Instead of worrying about stuff like the price of hand held rocket launchers and social engineering, I can worry about my mortgage and if I need a new pair of shoes. It’s brilliant, I’m comfortable and complacent, instead of planning my next move, I’m writing a blog post that will be read by a bunch of comfortable, complacent, mortgage holders.

Here’s another good one:  God Fucks Up Again, Film at 11. Unfortunately, still relevant today. And here’s what Addie thought of deform:  Did Jesus Tell You to Lie? Be sure to read the responses. Did I say that Addie was righteous?

IRL, Addie was a talented artist specializing in embroidery digitizing and design and was the owner of Addie Recoy Design. Among her designs were Bastard Nation patches.

Addie’s close frieand Linda Niehaus sums up Addie;

She brought so many adoptees together- she was passionate about changing legislation, had the most amazing blog and was one of the most supportive human beings I’ve ever known. And she had a killer sense of humor…She gave us the lifeline that many of us needed.

Addie was born in St. Louis and spent much of her life in  Unionville, Missouri  She is survived by her husband Marty Pickett and hundreds of friends and those she touched.

Thanks to Linda Niehaus



Day 6of 30–
24 to go


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