Well stick Bastardette’s head in a pizza oven!

On May 10, just in time for Mother’s Day, the Morriseys–the Massachusetts Baby Dump People–have joined forces with Alexander’s Pizza and Nick’s Place in Lexington–to raise money to teach new mothers how to painlessly abandon their bay-bees. According to the April/May 2005 issue of Lexington’s Colonial Times Magazine,the restaurants will donate proceeds from all pizza and sub sales after 4 PM that day to support the Morrisey’s “Baby Safe Haven Yes” propaganda machine….errrr…..we mean….advertising campaign to convince “desperate mothers” to enthusiastically and anonymously turn their “unwanted babies” over to the state for redistribution to equally “desperate” paps looking for newborns unencumbered by pesky birth parents. According to the article, the latest blitz will include more PSAs, lit-drops, and transit advertising.

While the article is not online, it can be Googled on the Internet newsgroup alt.adoption via the good offices of the Morriseys who never miss a chance to crow their own. This deeply American couple has single-handedly huckstered their way into the media and turned the tragedy of baby abandonment into a commercial sideshow heretofore unknown outside of guided tours of 875 S. Bundy Drive, excursions to the Lindbergh home, and Sam Sheppard’s first murder trial. As social Straussians they commodify the intimate to pimp their agenda of permissive universalized baby abandonment laws–an agenda that even some baby dump supporters find hard to stomach.

Now, Bastardette is not keen to condemn Alexander’s Pizza and Nick’s Place. Having seen the Morriseys in action, it is likely that management was seduced and suckered, as have been many good people over the last few years, in the equally yoked duo’s never-ending tear-at-the-heartstrings sob show. After all, who but the most hateful anti-christian can resist the ashen Mike and the dour Jean as they gather at baby cemeteries, nail “Baby Safe Haven” signs on fire stations, and hang out with Lt. Governor Kerry Healy to proclaim the Good News of Baby Safe Haven? (scroll down the link for stories and pics).

Lately the Morriseys, always inarticulate, thick, and vicious, have torn a page or two or 10 or 78 from Frank Luntz, smoothed up their act, and attempted to co-opt the language of their enemy–that is, anybody who knows more than two hoots about adoption. The result for those of us in-the- know “elites” and “oppressors” are quite hilarious, but unfortunately the uninformed might just fall for it.

Below is a newspeak sample, from a recent alt.adoption post reproduced verbatim. Note: The Morriseys seldom paragraph their posts. In the spirit of kindness to her Dear Readers, Bastardette has broken up the post into reasonable-reading chunks and indicated who said what. Otherwise no changes have been made.

Newsgroups: alt.adoption
From: “BabySafeHaven” – Find messages by this author
Date: 27 Feb :00:
Local: Sun,Feb :00 am
Subject: Re: Which law applies?>

Marley Greiner:

Nice attempt at language appropriation, but not good enough.
1 word: 1984.

In the Orwellian world of the Morriseys anon. abandonment doesn’t mean
identity erasure but equals identity assurance. The Morriseys hold the
same attitude towards adopted persons as do anti-abortion death culture
zealots towards the living. It’s simply another form of fetus worship. A
fetish is a fetish is a fetish.


The Morriseys:

Nice attempt at a severe case of reality displacement

One word: FACTS !!!!

The world of reality says that 46 states have passed Baby Safe Haven
laws, and 99% of the US population live in those states. To try to
label the 99% support for a child safety and welfare law as a form of
zealotry simply shows a complete detachment from society.

You also have to look at the efficacy of a sate not having a Baby Safe
Haven law to show the true zealotry of the opposition, and
Massachusetts is the perfect example. The Commonwealth used to follow
the advocacy of not passing a law and 13 newborns were abandoned in
four and half years, six died, four came extremely close to death,
three were surrendered in a means similar to surrounding states with
Baby Safe Haven laws. That makes six newborns who have a fate worse
then identity erasure, simply life erasure, and half have no identity
at all. Of the four who nearly died half cannot have an identity due to
the oppression of the woman who bore them due to the advocacy against
these proper child safety and welfare laws that allow immunity for the
Mom. Of the three that were safely surrendered two have the same
circumstance of identity erasure as approved by your own advocacy, and
forcing prosecution of the woman in an oppressive manner.

The facts are simply that your proven standard of efficacy you advocate
for, is clearly in favor of identity erasure, and opposition to child
welfare and safety as well as oppression of women.
That’s why 99% of US citizens live under the positive aspects of Baby
Safe Haven laws.

The label of zealotry is clearly on your side, while those who work
towards bettering Baby Safe Haven laws will take more positive steps
towards improved laws, improved public awareness and education, and
proper counseling of all women who may avail themselves of the immunity
of a Baby Safe Haven law to the point of being able to provide any and
all medical and familial histories without fear of oppression from not
only any legal authorities, but also the opposition groups who call for
their prosecution and public embarrassment.

As for Orwell’s “1984,” you must be living 20 years in the past with no
point of moving forward.

See you in the future, if you ever decide to try to catch up.


Black is white and red is green and states that refuse to slosh down the Safe Haven sinkhole oppress women.

Sylvia Plath was right!


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