Hundreds of comments have been posted on the ABC Forum regarding records access and adoptee rights. Most of them are on our side, and they are heartening, encouraging, and exciting to read. I hope posters in states with access bills pending will hit the streets running.
Here’s am unaltered sample of not-so-happy campers According to them, adoptees are selfish, ungrateful, homewreckers, blessed, chosen, ununderstanding, and uncompassionate. Paula Benoit is selfish and arrogant. Baby dump laws are an alternative to records access. First moms are egg donors. If this keeps up, maybe NCFA will go broke paying off its stringers. 
AND THE WINNER IS!
“As an adoptive parent of four wonderful children i must ay just because the child comes from the viginia a woman does not make her the MOTHER of that child. A Parent is the persons who love and nurture that child forever. Iam truly blessed by our children”…PapaW
1ST RUNNER UP (tie)
Oh, whine, whine, whine! Those adopted should feel blessed – they were chosen, not a happening. Be happy with what you’ve got. Stop creating strife and heartbreak in other families. They want to remain anonymouse. Let them be!”…lallen
“Shame on Ms. Benoit for using her political position and taxpayer money to pursue a personal interest. She should be made to pay back taxpayer dollars. Besides her parents didn’t want their names revealed and she has spoken out like a bad child. I’m glad I don’t live in Maine”…jimmylmiller
2nd RUNNER UP
“Why can’t the adopted be understanding about the choice their mother made. They at least didn’t abort them, I didn’t want to leave any kids in this world. Someday in the future I think Many people will wish they hadn’t been brought in to this world. You know it’s getting bad when we think its time to store all the seed types to in the world to protect them for the future.”..razor1blades
FINALISTS
“And Loogaloo, you’re WAY OFF BASE!! Adopted children do have an identity, and they do belong and they are always ‘more than’. They were CHOSEN!!!”…lallen
“My goodness, there’s a lot of self-righteous talk on here. I don’t see much compassion for the situation other people may find themselves in. It seems as though people just want what they want, much like Paula Benoit who seems arrogant to me.Before you classify me, let me explain that I am adopted and I also had a child out of wedlock in 1969 (pre-Roe v. Wade) and it gives me a particularly comprehensive view of these questions. Even though birth mothers were not guaranteed confidentiality of anonymity, I can tell you from experience that we were told, “No one will ever know.” In 1969 things were so different from how they are now. The shame of being pregnant and single was nearly unbearable. There are also birth mothers who have relationships now that would suffer if their past were revealed.On the other hand, not knowing where one comes from is very hard. Not knowing ones medical history can even be dangerous. Never having the answers to some of these questions clearly weigh heavily on people’s minds. Personally, I’m lucky. I don’t have a burning need to know, although it certainly would be interesting to me to know what part of the gene pool I arose from.In my opinion, the states ought to be invested in helping birth mothers and their biological children find each other, but ONLY if both want that. And it must be remembered that not all stories of reunification end happily for all involved”…cozmosmom
“We have three adopted children who are now adults. We may never had been able to adopt them had the mother not been guaraneed her privacy. At a minimum, a child should never be allowed access to the records of their birth parents without the court having obtained permission of the birth parents. Senator Benoit appears very self serving with no regard to the privacy guarantees given her birth parents”….Carl J. Olsen
“Here in Massachusetts many of us are proud of the “Safe Haven Law”. This law allows a mother, for whatever reason, to drop off her newborn in a safe place and remain anonymous. I think the need for this law shows the desperate need some woman have to remain anonymous. The need for the Safe Haven Law was felt when we had some infants that were put in harms way with bad outcomes due to the fact the birth moms were not able to go through the appropriate process. Pregnancy can become a desperate time for some and adoption should be an option for them that is presented with kindness, understanding and options. Remember adoption is a triad…birth parents…baby…adoptive parents…all having special needs, joys and sadness. As an adoptive mom of 3 adult children I am very aware, and there is no easy answer”…Jean
“I am adopted but do not want the records opened. I was recentally contacted by a person who said they were my sister. What a shock. I dont care for my private life to be inturpted. My first thought was I was being scamed. Will my adoption cause harm to my family”… Jane from IL
” I have adopt four children and I do not want my children to look for there egg donor, so I hope we keep laws to seal records and I am grateful that we have laws in my state to keep records sealed”…meritweety
This is so disheartening. 🙁
Disheartening and full of ignorance. It highlights the need to keep trying to educate the masses about the issues. We’ve made progress getting records open, but so far not even ten out of fifty states have an open records law. People like this are a good part of the reason why.
Just goes to show, they may adopt us, but some of ’em sure as hell don’t respect us.
Nothing stunning here, just what’s all around us all the time. It’s just lots of folks haven’t had a lot of exposure to how vile it can get in there.
While it may be “disheartening” to read, in some cases, it’s a hell of a lot worse than mere disheartening to to actually be some of their adopted kids.
And then they wonder why their kids turn 18 and want nothing to do with them… could it have been the fear, the jealousy, the lies? Nah, of course not. ~Obviously~ the kid just turned out ‘ungrateful!’
(This is me, rolling my eyes, and sighing.)
I have been reading the ‘comments’ over there on the ABC message board and all I can think of when reading the Nay-sayers comments in keeping Closed Records…Closed…. What the hell are they so afraid of?? I am glad to see that so many burfmuggles are responding and responding positively. Except for those few who are stilling living in the 60’s. I also noticed the complete absence of comments from burf-fodders. Eh…what else is new! Most were absent at the beginning..doesn’t surprise me that burf-fodders are still MIA. The Poll is strongly in favor of opening closed records..hope some people are paying attention to that poll.
A Burfmuggle from 1964
forgot to add…
“”As an adoptive parent of four wonderful children i must ay just because the child comes from the viginia a woman does not make her the MOTHER of that child.””
Viginia!!!! No wonder old Papasmurf couldn’t get it going with the Mrs. … he would be seriously lacking in the sperm count department trying to copulate with the entire state of ‘Viginia'(spoken with a southern dialect).
Oh barf. Yes Viginia, there ARE a lot of stupid selfish virulent people out there. Unfortunately.
Good point, BLC! While I take comfort that these commenters aren’t my parents, they are somebody’s.
What I find appalling is the total lack of spelling, grammar and syntax!I feel so sorry for the children these “people” have in their care. Hope these kids are not home-schooled!
I’m an adult adoptee, estranged from my adopted parents. It’s all sad. Sad that natural bonds became so disrespected in the baby scoop era. Sad that people are so attached to their own POV and are so intolerant of others. If the people who adopted me hadn’t been so ignorant (and consequently so violent), perhaps I wouldn’t be estranged from them. I’d like to think that if my natural mother knew where she was sending me, that she never would have given me up. But that’s still just a fantasy. sigh. I believe that good (or at least tolerable) adoptee-adoptor relationships do exist, but they’re besides the point. Apparently the law was willing to support the greedy adoption industry over the not-then-visible miseries of many of their human merchandise. But I believe that this will change eventually. From a karmic standpoint (that may be a little sick) maybe baby scoop adoption had a purpose, after all, something had to take the place of 19th-century slavery.
(Re-posting my comment with an identity)
I’m an adult adoptee, estranged from my adopted parents. It’s all sad. Sad that natural bonds became so disrespected in the baby scoop era. Sad that people are so attached to their own POV and are so intolerant of others. If the people who adopted me hadn’t been so ignorant (and consequently so violent), perhaps I wouldn’t be estranged from them. I’d like to think that if my natural mother knew where she was sending me, that she never would have given me up. But that’s still just a fantasy. sigh. I believe that good (or at least tolerable) adoptee-adoptor relationships do exist, but they’re besides the point. Apparently the law was willing to support the greedy adoption industry over the not-then-visible miseries of many of their human merchandise. But I believe that this will change eventually. From a karmic standpoint (that may be a little sick) maybe baby scoop adoption had a purpose, after all, something had to take the place of 19th-century slavery.
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AAHHHHHHH WTF.
so ignorant. >:O