I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. Since Bastardette regards cooking something people are paid to do, BF Bastard and I did China Dynasty this year. Big Chinese buffet along with turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, dressing, and some knockout maple syrup mashed sweet potatoes. I considered taking pictures of my meal to post here, but that’s just so….Facebook!

Since everyone is saying how grateful they are this season, I suppose I should add my two cents: I am not grateful for the legislatures of 44 states and their industry bullies and hangers-on that continue to treat bastards as chattel. I’m grateful, however, for my Bastardette buddies, Bastard Nation, good friends, family, and the Bad Cats.

But most of all, I’m grateful for celebrity adopters, the true heroes of National Adoption Awareness Month. Without them, adoption would be as popular as the wringer washer, the buggy whip, and beta videos. Their altruistic acts of child gathering are an inspiration to middle America. Adoption = upward mobility. There’s a little bit of Hollywood in each of us, and what better way to live like a star than to adopt.

Jim Hamilton posted this on on Facebook and it’s worth re-posting here as NAAM wears down: a photo album of 110 Celebrity Adopters. As Jim wrote: bring on the towel!

Personally, I think it takes a lot of chutzpah to include a picture of Joan Crawford and her abusee Christina. And I’m disappointed that the album doesn’t include Jimmy Cagney, Edward G. Robinson, Loretta Young (who pretended to adopt), Andy Devine, Wallace Berry (!) Dick Powell and June Allyson (1 Tann acquisition), Ruby Keeler and Al Jolson, Jack Benny and Mary Livingston, Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray and June Haver.

Whereis Zazu Pitts? She and her husband Tom Gallery adopted Marvin Carville LaMarr, son of Zazu’s close friend silent screen actress Barbara LaMarr (“the girl to beautiful to live”) after LaMarr died in 1926 of TB and nephritis aided by mean smack and coke habit. Gallery grew up to be a prominent LA-based boxing promoter, actor, and TV sports executive. A couple years ago he told the LA Times that he’s writing a book about his mother.

Inexplicably, Jane Russell is off the A List. Russell (dated BF Bastard’s uncle before Howard Hughes snatched her away) and husband football star Bob Waterfield, adopted three children. For decades she was an active adoption promoter, especially international adoption. She founded WAIF (World Adoption International Fund –no webpage) that is reported responsible for the adoption of 51,000 babies.

If I were to be adopted by a celebrity, I’d choose Jamie Lee Curtis and Art Buchwald, though not as a couple. Christoper Guest might object and Buchwald is dead. If given a choice between Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell, I’d take Madonna. She’s got a good art collection and great underwear.

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  1. While I’m at it, Bastardette, I think I might see if I can get readopted, this time by Madonna or Angelina Jolie. Sure, my first adopters were nice and everything, but they were just regular folks. Now that I am all grown up, why not “choose my own family” with an underwear-fetished Sean-Penned Madonna? Or better yet, why not choose someone who is totally hot, and who has said that she likes girls? You got it: I’d just love to call Angelina Jolie “mommy.” Ah, the possibilities!

  2. TM, you made me chuckle. When I was a teen rebel and thought my parents were dismally dumb, I fantasized about being adopted by someone obscenely rich and famous. Little did I know that I would become a surrendering mother within a year. Since, during our era, we had no choices as to who adopted our babies, I just prayed they would be good people with big hearts. What I found when we reunited was not exactly answers to my prayers. But I guess they were better than Joan Crawford.

  3. Maryanne–there were more than that in the Golden Age of Hollywood Adoption. I’ve got a crate of adoption and Hollywood articles. If people think there’s a lot more, they need to check out the 1930s-1950. The only actors I can that come to mind offhand didn’t adopt are John Garfield (who could adopt me any day!) and Bing Crosby.Obvciously, they’re not the only ones, but it’s quite striking.

    I wanted to add another story, about an actress who returned the newborn she and her husband were adopting to the mother because it was the right thing to do. I looked all over the place for the story last night (which I’d found a couple years ago in an oddball place while I was looking for something else) and couldn’t find it. Maybe I’ve misremembered the actress. I didn’t want to say something that was wrong, so I left it out If I find it, I’ll do a separae blog on it some day.

  4. Marley, this is OT for this subect but I’m getting desperate! lol How do you get to alt.adoption on facebook? I’ve tried going thru groups on fb but it doesn’t come up. I’ve asked in a few different places but received no answers. Help?

    Kathy (kat)

  5. Mia Farrow made the famous adopters list, but there’s no mention of Woody Allen. I guess the man deserves his own category.


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