Last Minute Christmas Suggestions

What would you like for Christmas, little bastards and bastardettes?

I realize the hour is drawing nigh, but it’s not too late to add to your loot list. To help you out, I’m posting some toy commercials from the 1950s and 1960s. I mean, that’s when a lot of us were born, and since we adoptees never grow up…

There’s enough here for consumer, feminist, and parent do-gooders to carp about until next year. Darcy the Cover Girl: the woman your little girl will want to be. Yikes! Images of Betty Draper dance in my head. OK, I’ll fess up! At a certain point in my life, Bridgette Bardot was someone I wanted to be. I scared my mother.

The trucks are pretty cool (and loud). Interesting how cars are OK for girls to play with as long as they are for Baby Go Bye-Byeing tasks, not to bring home the bacon. Some things never change.

I like the Maverick swag from Kaiser Quilted Wrap, too, When I wasn’t pretending to be BB, I was Bret Maverick. In fact, my entry into the world of literati occurred at the age of 12 when I wrote a screenplay about Bret’s childhood in the middle of Oklahoma Territory or someplace, which my mother (again) tossed out as being “inappropriate.” I’d been unduly influenced by Peyton Place.

We’re cookin’ with the Atlas Rocket. I’m sure the neighbors loved that one. I spent the evening of the July 4, 1983 shooting bottle rockets into Worthington Hills backyards. I know!

Fang Bang is for those unable to afford family therapy.

Finally, we get a peek at Bess Myerson whom I mentioned briefly in a recent NCFA blog.

I found a couple other Christmas Eve-appropriate commercials that I just couldn’t resist. Here we have Mattel’s Tommy Burst for budding Homeland Security agents–or psychopathic killers with a complete narrative. I bet Abu Ghraib and both Bush elections that Dick Cheney played with one.

And here’s Baby Safe Haven…er, I mean Baby Secret.

So have a Merry Merry Christmas and don’t let the PCers bite!

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