NOTE: Formating is off a little due to the transfer from Blogger to WordPress.
The other day, someone on the Adoption News and Events Facebook page found a interesting blog, Adoptive Parents Speak. No, it’s not one of those warm and cuddly aparent gagfests about Biff, Buffy and their pony in the suburbs waiting for a child. This is a cut-and-paste job of actual pap and adopter comments taken from forums, blogs, and websites.
anonymous adopter shares her knowledge of adoption tactics
Later she told us she was “leaning towards another family because they were closer”. Not that she had decided to parent (which would have been easier to accept), this other family is physically closer to HER. . Quite selfish! She seems to want only the good visits, etc., but nothing of the daily ups and downs that come with raising her son.
from an Adoptive Parent Forum
God Made Me Do It
My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him.”
from a Christain Adoptive Parenting forum
My snark alarm went off with this one, but I don’t care. It’s so like what I’ve heard legitimately over the last 18 years on the ‘net, that I’m including it, even though I believe it’s a put-on. You never know.
The adoption option–
The baby’s mother– An immature irresponsible young women most likely from a Jerry Springer Show type of family. She will be extremly emotionally attached to her baby and is too immature to fully understand and cope with the boundaries of an open adoption relationship. Infant adoption is a catch 22. Mothers of good genetic stock aren’t screwed up enough to give thier newborn babies away to strangers…..If a mother is unfit enough to give away her baby she is unfortunatly not only unfit enough to parent but is also unfit where she shouldn’t be breeding and spreading her inferior genes. She is most likely a failure in school with a low IQ. I have read on adoption forums that if an adoptive couple checks off that they don’t want a baby from a birthmother who has smoked during her pregnancy that they will be on the waiting list for a long time….Birthmothers tend to come from families with drug abuse and alcholism. I have seen birthmother blogs and I have never seen an attractive birthmother. Most of them look like the trailer park white trash that they are. Ugly squirrely faces, buck teeth, obese etc. Birthmothers are deadbeat moms. Why would adoptive parents pay 30 grand for some loser’s baby?
The baby’s father—Not the infertile woman’s husband but a pimply faced teenage horn dog who knocked up and dumped the birthmother. He is most likely a loser with a low IQ, history of problems with the law, and a drug and alcohol abuser.
With donor eggs and surrogacy thier baby comes from a genetic legacy of beauty, health and intellegence and is born by the miracle of science and a strong healthy surrogate.
With adoption the baby is born with a genetic legacy of underachievers, family abuse and irresponsiblity.
If a young women is too stupid and trashy to raise her baby then I think she should just have an abortion. I don’t see anything wrong with killing embryos. The world is over populated and only the stupid people are breeding. I know infertile couples are desperate but please….. Next time you are shopping at Walmart look at the white trash there…. Pick out some random trashy teenager… say enie meanie minie mo I pick Y-O-U …. congratulations thats your birthmother! Do you want to raise her little crotch dropping? You probably wouldn’t even want to use the bathroom after her.
From a question and answer site. This is not from an adoptive parent but I felt this quote was important to include in this
From Motherhood Moments: Love Means Having to Say You’re Sorry by Jacquelyn Mitchard
Adoptive father in a very cruel email to a reunited natural mother in response to her mentioning that their 21-yr-old son now had 4 loving parents – October 16, 2001
The last I find rather chilling,,,
I Guess I’ll Keep Him
I instantly hated him (harsh word but the honest truth). I expected to feel the same about him as our first, he had issues with food would never chew just shovel it into his mouth and end up throwing up, he didn’t listen keep in mind he was only 2 1/2 and our first was 4 when we got him and a sweetheart. Adrien the 2 1/2 was the exact opposite. He would hit scratch bite, and cry if you were eating something he wanted, after a week I told my husband A had to go. My dh said if thats what I really wonted that he would support me but to give the little boy another week. By then even with all his problems he was calling me mom so I couldn’t send him back.
from a cloth diapering forum
*I edited out the child’s name
I just want to leave him somewhere and walk away, just be free of responsibility for his kid I don’t even like. He is so slimy He makes me ill.
Columbus Dispatch, December 12, 2004, “Diary of an Adoption Tragedy”
While I am doing this (hitting children and screaming at them) it feels oddly good. I feel a sense of relief to get out some of anger, and I have to stop before I really hurt them. Afterwards, I feel somewhat guilty, but not as much as I should.
I am mad at them for being so much damn work (angry) at them for not just fitting in and for having no personality.
In the mid-1980s, an Ohio House committee was subjected to anti-adoptee testimony by Dr. John Willke from Cincinnati, co-founder of the National Right to Life Committee and anti-bastard/anti-abortion/pro-adoption powerhouse in the state. Willke testified about an alleged adoptee patient of his who, against his advice, sought out her mother, only to “track her down” in the middle of a tryst with a trick. At the same hearing the then Franklin County (Columbus) Probate Judge testified that the only “brithparents” he knew who desired reunion were those in jail who wanted someone to bring them cookies. (Testimonies not online; copies in my possession.)
In 1996 when I testified in support of an adult records access bill before an Ohio House committee, one committee member repeatedly referred to “birthparents” as “prostitutes and junkies” as in, “Do you want a prostitute standing in your front yard in the middle of the night screaming she wants your child?” This same legislator objected to adoptee access to parental non-ID information that included the first names of the parents. As an example of how an “innocent mother” could be “tracked down” by her bastard (oh, wait a minute! I thought he was afraid of a slutmom “tracking down” an “innocent child!”) he used the first name of “Orange”as an example of an easy name to find.