Which side are you on, Rich? Anything or nothing is not devisive, Throwing away rights is.

Recently,  the South Carolina House Committee Medical, Military, and Public Affairs voted Do Pass on the amended HB 3775.

The original clean bill which, if passed. would have restored the right of all South Carolina adoptees to access their own original birth certificates.  It was replaced with amendments that gut the right of ALL South Carolina adoptees– current and future–from full access without restrictions or conditions. 

The amended bill:

  • Makes access prospective only. That is, only those adopted after the effective date of the bill would be eligible to receive their OBCs at the age of 21– sometime in 2040.
  • But, those adoptees cannot receive their OBC without explicit written biological parent(s) consent

In other words, those adopted before the effective date remain in their black hole.  Those adopted after that date can be shoved into that black hole with them if a birthparent refuses to grant permission to the adoptee to access their own OBC.

The original bill is here

The amended  H3775 is here.

 Now, you would think that even the most die-hard deformer would find these amendments unacceptable if not reprehensible–especially being added to a perfectly clean bill with no restrictions. You know, the kind of bill they claim to want.  (Even those deformers who give in eventually, at least hold on for a while and don’t wave the white hanky at the first sign of trouble). H3775  doesn’t even meet Get-What You-Can-Get Now baby steps standards.

Which side are you on?

But wait!…Meet Rich Urlaub…If you haven’t yet, you’ll find a brief introduction to him in my Victory in New York: Cuomo vetos dirty bill; Deformers complain. Urlaub, who bills himself as an adoptee activist, argues there that we already have “rights,” but that they are just misinterpreted or need to be tweaked… or something, H3775, as you will see in a few minutes, is fine with him.

I first heard this no-such-thing- as-adoptee-rights hog swill two years ago at the Denver AAC, when Uhrlaub  theorized that the Colorado bill that he worked on that opened records and files in that state, was accomplished without a single mention of “rights.” Legislators, you see, are scared away with terms like “rights” especially when prefixed with “adoptee”  so they need to hear softer less “divisive” language.Perhaps beggary will do. Perhaps scabbery.

Two years later,  Urlaub has turned his theory into practice with a topsy-turvy dog and  pony act demeaning the adoptee rights movement which, he has dubbed All or Nothing Now. (AONN).  Apparently, for him, there is such a thing as ” half-measure “rights.” (Sojourner Truth take note!) where it is OK for some adoptees to enjoy their rights in full, and for others not to. According to him, an agenda of unrestricted,  unconditional adoptee rights while preferable is also neffective. alienating, and dangerous. He’s even stooped to the old “Adoptees are dyin'” routine to try to convince inexperienced or burnt out individuals and groups to reject a political rights, agenda in favor of a personalized wish list that depoliticizes Class Bastard and adoption and seeks individual solutions for collective justice.  Sorry, Rich! An injury to one is an injury to all.  Equality under law is not an insult.

Full access  is a bridge too far

A few months ago Urlaub outed himself in Florida where he supported two restrictive bills.  At around the same time, he lamented  New York governor Andrew Cuomo’s veto of the dirty A5036N/S4845B and the establishment of a group to study access issues and make recommendations for action. Oddly, Uhrlaub initially supported the veto by endorsing the  joint  letter sent  by a group of over 40 adoptee rights/reform, birth and adoptive parent organizations and hundreds of individuals,

Uhrlaub, writing about New York on his personal Facebook page  (but not on any of the “activist pages” he runs)  called himself an “observer.” He admitted that he did not participate in the New York oppositional campaign except to sign the joint letter in the name of his organization, Adoptees in Search: Colorado’s Adoption Connection. Yet, he felt compelled, after the fact, to criticize our campaign and specifically certain high-profile members of it, implying that promoting the “right” of adoptees to unrestricted record and file access endangers the adoptee rights movement and generations of future adoptees.

Recently, Urlaub criticized the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction  Attorneys (Quad A), a longtime opponent of adoptee rights, for stepping back and endorsing our right to records. Not only did Quad A endorse OBC access, but also the release of court and adoption agency records to the adoptees to whom they pertain. Urlaub, losing any shred of creds he possibly had left, complained on his blog that Quad A may have gone “a bridge too far. ” He implied that the movement could be endangered by Quad A’s tectonic change, in the same manner of course, that those of us who promote adoptee rights, endanger adoptee rights.

In a discussion on Quad A posted on Greg Luce’s Adoptee Rights Law Center  FB page, Urlaub, who has shown a disturbing hostility to women in the movement attacked Texas activist Shawna Hodgston founder of Adoption Support  Advocates in Houston, Texas.(My computer still refuses to make screenshots-only cut-and paste.

Shawna Hodgson Texas is a huge state, Rich. Connie and Marci don’t have to mention me for my work to matter. Just stay out of TX. We have enough BS to deal with as it is.
Richard Uhrlaub Shawna Hodson best wishes for every success. I’ve never seen anyone who thinks they can lift their leg and pee on an entire state (except for Sheatan). Nicely done. I’ve got the real scoop on you now. Apology withdrawn.
 In the same thread, Uhrlaub attacked CalOpen founder and director Jean Ulrich, who called him out on his well-known online and off  misogyny:

Jean Uhrich Richard Uhrlaub, I am laughing so hard. I have heard report of you mansplaining across the internet, of your dirty language against women, but THIS (above) on International Women’s Day is the height of misogyny in Adoptee Land. Wow Rich! As you can imagine, I’m sending to all senators and reps that go near you in multiple states. I’m starting with your latest failure in Florida. Let your reputation proceed you. Indeed. Next time, try to learn the difference between your gnashing of teeth in closed Facebook groups vs when you are out in the light of day – called PUBLIC.

Richard Uhrlaub Jean Uhrich, you’re bright enough to recognize a non-gender specific metaphor for claiming/marking territory. Perhaps your personal campaign against me is driven by your own misandry and attempt to direct attention away from your own lack of success in the state where you live.

In this same thread Uhrlaub referred to women in the movement, presumably Bastard National women in leadership, as “harpies:”

AONN approach “extremely ineffective”

This brings us back to South Carolina. and H3775. After the bill was amended, Greg Luce, posted some comments about the change in his FB page.  Below is the dust-up between Urlaub and Luce. Urlaub, of course, declares that we AONNs are doing it all wrong in South Carolina and says it’s our fault it was amended.  (Note, that this bill, it is a legislator’s bill, not brought by any adoptee rights, reform group. We had nothing to do with it except to support the clean version and oppose the dirty,

Richarad Uhrlaub Or here’s a novel idea: Given that the bill sponsor is a 77 year old adoptee in the minority party of a heavily conservative state who has, astoundingly, managed to single-handedly get a bill introduced, make influential friends across the aisle, and get the bill passed through two committees onto the House floor for a vote (only to have it hijacked at the last minute by a lawyers’ lobby) — what if, instead of calling for its death, you put out a call to raise funds for a lobbyist to help turn things around in the Senate and help the woman accomplish the goal instead of insulting her work and motives?

Adoptee Rights Law I’m not sorry I may have insulted your own apparent involvement in South Carolina, Richard Uhrlaub, to get whatever you can today, leading to a bill that will negatively affect adoptees in South Carolina for generations. This is certainly the lesson of what people like you reap when you pursue whatever you can now at the ultimate cost of equality never. And, as usual, you call on others to clean up a mess that you helped create, when you know full well it is way too late to do anything except kill the bill. Nice work. Please get out of adoptee rights advocacy. You make matters worse.

Richard Uhrlaub Lol. Give us the details of how I helped create what just happened in SC, please. Your assessment of the situation reflects your inexperience and ignorance. So be it.
Richard Uhrlaub If our opponents know that all they have to do is to slap an unfriendly amendment on a bill to get the sponsor to pull the bill, then they will win every time. Perhaps that’s why the AONN approach has been so remarkably ineffective in the past 13 years.
I could go on, but I am at the AAC in Albuquerque right now, and am part of that adoptee hating AONN gang. Emm Paul, Mirren Kara Theiding,  Greg Luce and I are getting together shortly to work out our presentation: Adoption Bingo and Its Co-opting Influence on Adoptee Rights. At some point, I will have more to say, (This piece was written quickly).
In closing, though,  I have long argued that the greatest enemies of the adoptee equality movement today are the people within it. Urlaub illustrates the point. I have no idea what his motives are for attempting to undermine a growing viable–and successful–movement–other than to aggrandize himself  Anyone care to guess anything better?
NCFA has dropped out of it for all intents and purposes, other opposition has come and gone–and, of course, certain legislative types who for reasons known only to themselves, (we can guess!)  strive for adoption secrecy.   For some reason, AdoptopnLand remains stuck in the ’80s and some groups and individuals continue to take what they can get, at the expense of their fellow bastards and best interests. Demanding and restoring rights to Class Bastard is not divisive.  AdoptionLand seems to be the only place where holding out for what you want–not giving in for what you can get–is considered divisive, counterproductive, and dumb.  At least Uhrlaub has done us a favor by exposing the ugly truth about himself: his preference for discrimination, degradation, and rights wrangling, and defeat.
When even Guad A comes around to our side, where does that put you, RIchj?
Which  side  are you on, Rich?

One Reply to “Which side are you on, Rich? Anything or nothing is not devisive, Throwing away rights is.”

  1. The term “misandry” is like “reverse racism.” Folks haul it out when they are anticipating that they are about to get an education they don’t want (but desperately need) and to be exposed for who they truly are.

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