Tonight ABC News will feature a segment on records access. As a run-up to the show a discussion about adoptee rights is being held on the ABC internet forum. The direct link isn’t punching in, so cut and paste this

Everyone so far supports adoptees except one poster:

As an adoptive parent who chose to adopt internationally under the UN’s Hague Treaty, I can tell you it is better to do so internationally than to adopt domestically. There is no uniformity to adoption laws in the US and they definetly are NOT written with the interests of the adopting parents in mind. These people are the most important part of a successful adoption yet they have very little legal standing during the adoption process. We wanted a truly closed adoption. In the United States, there is no such thing. No matter how much records are supposedly sealed. Any interested party can sue to have them opened. We wanted none of that.
Posted by:
Cindru2000 Feb-23

I’m sure that Bastardette’s readers–or adoptee rights activists and adoptees in search–will be comforted to know that “any interested party” can sue to have records opened. Technically, of course, anybody can sue, but I guess all those adopted folks, who have individually spent decades and thousands of dollars in court wrangling, not to mention, therapy, search and rights lobbying, just went about it the wrong way. Please, Cindru, enlighten us on how adoptees can get their own records so we can fold up our tents and go home to watch Dexter in peace and quiet. We sit at your feet in abeyance, our tongues licking your boots, awaiting your answer.

I know this will shock you Cindru, but your adopted acquisition(s) had a name, parents, grandparents, perhaps siblings, an extended family, a genealogy, history, and culture long before you scooped it up and dropped it behind your white picket fence. Its life (and I uses “it” purposely, since your child is clearly a consumer item, not a person) didn’t start the day you landed at the orphanage with your money belt, inflated ego, and “good intentions.”

People like Cindru who set out by design to blot out adoptee identity, family, and records should be barred from adopting. I wonder what disreputable agency took her on as a client. So many to choose from; so little time! And for all her hard work and expense, she’ll be horrified to learn that her acquisition might not be as undocumented as she hopes– nor as grateful.

I really dislike the term “adoptress,” and I never use it. But if anyone deserves that approbation it’s Cindru2000.


  1. Possibly Cindru is an NCFA employee and not a real adoptive parent, not that I doubt that such selfish and unscrupulous adoptive parents exist. Sickening.

    Of course the laws aren’t written for the adoptive parents, the laws exist for the best interests of the child, as they explicitly state, more often than not.

  2. This is the type of person THAT adopts!! Those of you who think that isn’t true just take a look at your own a parents. It wasn’t about you, I am sorry, it was about them acquiring a baby! Nothing more nothing less the reality of adoption.

  3. Anonymous (for a reason, I guess) wrote:

    “This is the type of person THAT adopts!! Those of you who think that isn’t true just take a look at your own a parents. It wasn’t about you, I am sorry, it was about them acquiring a baby! Nothing more nothing less the reality of adoption.”

    I beg to differ with your first point. Cindru2000 does not represent every adoptive parent, any more than you represent every adoptee. (Thank whatever forces you think there may be.)

    As for adopting because we want children: Doh!

  4. But you never asked US if we wanted to be adopted did you? You Aparents seem to forget that babies are HUMAN BEINGS not an item that is a cure for your infertility. You never asked US if we wanted to not know who we are, lie everyday and call a woman who never gave birth to us “mom”, or be treated like a leaper when we are adults in the world of civil rights. Closed Adoption is not about YOU lady…it is about US…

  5. It is 2008. There is no excuse for this sort of “ignorance.” The average person does more research before buying a puppy than this woman claims to have done in adding a new member to her family. How very tragic and cruel.

    She knows better, she HAS to know better. She just doesn’t care. She doesn’t think of this child she purchased as human.

    When that kid stops being cute and starts being angry, she’ll find out in a very real way that barring her child from access to his or her heritage was not in HER best interest at all, let alone the child’s.

    Ye gods. That poor kid.

  6. J

    Of course the adopter’s wanted
    children that is what adoption is about. BUT if they wanted to adopt and adopt from a foreign country and say that the reason they did was for their protection against the mother coming back into their lives. Isn’t that what most of these adopters hope doesn’t happen that the mother will appear while they are raising another mother’s child. If you ask any adopter and they are truthful they DO NOT want any interference from the mother. IT has to be about them and their claim to be mother the only mother in adoption. Which we know is absurd as without the original mother they wouldn’t be able to play mother.

  7. j,
    (your reason for posting????

    I DID write in for a

    To which you quickly responded..touch a cord..

    Because adopters want the appearance of being the “only” parents…thus all about them.Not about their acquisition its all about them being the “adopter” parent and hoping there is no mother appearing…to wreck the lies adoption creates.

    Can you wrap your adopter mind around that fact…doh

  8. Anonypiss said “Can you wrap your adopter mind around that fact…doh.”

    Oy, with regards to j, if j’s the j I think it is, have you ever got the wrong vampire!

  9. This is really a broad brush attack on adopters. It’s been my pleasure to know or work with scads of adoptive parents who work diligently for adoptee rights, identity and records access, and a gutting of the current system. Some have been absolutely essential to legislative victories. Sen. D for instance. Adoption certainly has its share of lousy, abusive,sick, nasty, entitled SOBs who should never have been allowed to adopt a highway, much less a kid. But so do intact bio families. My first mom later adopted 2 kids. Does this make her evil?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *