A year ago iBastard wrote a wonderful blog–Introducing the Adoption Apparel Translator–with illustrations. iBastard took to task those adoptive parents with their odd motives who dress their little adoptees, too young to voice their personal opinion about the whole thing, in adopta-tees: “I Grew in Mommy’s Heart” and “Mommy’s Lil’ Guatling.” (I know what you’re thinking, but …no, these are real!) My personal fav is “Special Delivery from Guatemala,” spun out of the iBastard Translator as, “No, Mommy Did Not Fuck a Mexican.”

Since then, the child saving sub-industry has expanded to market new and exciting promotional material for entitled braggards. This bib,* for example, courtesy of Bubblegum Bibs, ought to be next year’s best seller due to the coming influx of Ethiopian “orphans” in the wake of the Guatemalan unpleasantness. (China is also available)

TRANSLATION: Your mother didn’t want you. Oh, and by the way, your birth country sucks.

For a mere $15.00 you can send a message to your little international adoptee now that will warp him or her forever.

*NOTE TO ANGELINA JOLIE: Have nanny stock up!


  1. Absolutely incredibly insensitive. And just imagine years to come after Mummy has scrapbooked and videoed the new addition…with the Born in Africa Loved in USA….Because one does cancel the other out. So I was Born there but couldnt be loved there?
    That’s EXACTLY what that translates to.
    These people think they are doing *cutesy* things for these babies but in fact they are just hopping on that revolving cash door known as adoption

  2. I am from United States and I WANTED and LOVED my son.

    He was used to satisfy another woman who couldn’t have a child of her own.

    Because I was young, unmarried the powers that prevailed and selfish others decided my son would be sacrificed to adoption.

    Soon afterward he was in a home that was a SINGLE parent…just like I would have been..wtf.

    UNITED STATES SUCKS when it comes to entitled, couples who are out searching for a baby…any baby…long as they can get it womb fresh…

    to all of those who think they need and deserve a baby..I say get a life…and don’t take someone else’s because you can’t produce a baby on your own.


    this was mid sixties..

  3. The Ugly American lives!! Along with self-entitlement, comes the arrogant idea that OUR culture and OUR religion and OUR econimic status is Better Than Thou’s. These people blithely ignore the fact that many of these children were stolen or the mothers were coerced and lied to and otherwise conned.

    And by all means, let us subtly persuade the little adoptee that they were total trash until the saintly adopter took him/her in. That’s a form of mental abuse!

    There is the celebrity adopter whose African Aquisition has a father who DID want her but the celeb’s $$$ prevailed. This ranks right up there with “Gotcha” Day. UGH!!!

    Oh, and Marley, expect to hear from a certain adopter that was haunting my blog for a while. She’s just buckets of fun!

  4. I think
    Born in Africa/China/Gauatamala
    Bought in the USA
    would be So much more accurate..
    Maybe we ungrateful little bastards and cracksmokin hatemonger BSE mothers should make some up and send them to all new “mommies” for Xmas!
    Ah, adoption…can ya feel the love?!!


  5. Reminds me of the Bob Marley song “Buffalo Soldier” – He was stolen from Africa, brought to America – fighting on arrival – fighting for survival.

    Of course, my ASon is too old for such a bib – can I find a T-Shirt for him which reads “Bulgarian Import”? (OUCH!!!)


  6. I knew a Bulgarian Import too. He ended up being thrown out of the forever family as they couldn’t cope with him as he got older.

    So much for forever…families.

    wondering what happened to him where is he is he homeless?


  7. StepfordChild

    I wouldn’t send them a thing they deserve what ever they have coming!

    To think of oneself as superior to the child or baby one adopts is a misconception. In the BSE the only criteria seemed to be that the “adopters” not be a total of 100 years old combined..wtf..

    ugly Americans and adoption is just creating another whole realm of hate from these countries that have had their babies taken because they are poor.

    Suggestion why don’t all the people that want to adopt support a child with its own family to make sure they stay together.

    Same reason they didn’t do that in the BSE is all about owning…controlling
    and pretending.


  8. yts:

    The EE children – Bulgarian and otherwise – have had a tough go of it. Many dissolutions.

    It depends upon what age the boy’s adoption was dissolved. Many of these kids I call the “second hand kids”.

    A Child’s Waiting (ACW) is an agency that made a side business on second placements from international disruptions.

    What a business *gack*


  9. E. Case,

    YOU don’t have to tell me about these Bulgarian children.

    The adoptee that I knew who knows where he ended up. Prison, dead, or who knows, I don’t and I am sure that those who adopted don’t know either as they ended up letting him go so no one knows.

    I still have that little guys picture in my possession.


    They named him Michael and he was about three when he was adopted. Not exactly sure what age he was given back.

  10. Oh god, this sounds all too familiar……..in the DC world the lesbians and single mother’s by choice have chosen the pathetic t-shirt logo “My daddy’s name is donor”. How sad that toddlers are forced to run around wearing such shirts which not only broadcast their conception story to the entire world (if only merely as a gay rights protest), but they are from day one only allowed to see their biological father as nothing more than “donor”.

    Stuff like this makes me sick…..apparently Americans really do think it’s all about them

  11. I made the mistake of suggesting on someone’s blog that Gotcha Day and the other rubbish might hurt the feelings of young adoptees. I gently suggested maybe having a Family Day – it was not well received. They have no idea how much damage they are doing to these poor kids’psyches.

    I sleep with a Mexican every night and I love it 🙂

  12. I think that a lot of you are directing your anger towards the wrong people. The people who are taking in children and giving them LOVE. Hurt people hurt people. That is the only conclusion I can come up with as to why. God bless.

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