November NaBloPoMo is coming to the end, and boy am I glad! I had planned to write some dynamite posts this month, but the task of writing every day (it takes 8-12 hours for me to write one blog usually) just wore me out and my life, such as it is, was put on hold. At the moment my house is a pigsty and both ears are plugged shut with a sinus infection that’s out of control. I am sick of National Adoption Awareness Month and it’s MSM cotton candy puff pieces, fat cat celebrations, and deformers selling our rights up the creek. I don’t remember when I’ve been so sick of adoption as I am tonight.
So, I planned originally to write a short Goodbye NAAM blog, until Jean Strauss’s Absurd Dilemmas Caused by Secrets in Closed Adoptions showed up in Huffington Post this afternoon. (Please someone, tell me how does one become a HuffPo blogger!) Here’s my rush job.
Benedict Bastard Strauss, who rode into California on her white horse and skeeved out on her ass,( here and California Adoption Reform sidebar) frames her HuffPo essay around the fallacious claim that original birth certificate access is about getting medical histories for adoptees. She rattles on about “birthmother” privacy, too. Neither of which has anything to do with the civil and human right of every person to receive their government produced birth certificate without state or third person restriction. Strauss conflates sealed records with closed adoption. Taking a cue from Sara Feigenholtz, she cooks the books claiming that 10 states, not 6, acknowledge the right of its bastards to their own original birth certificates. The first paragraph alone should disqualify Strauss from the debate
How angry would you be if the government had personal information about you — but wouldn’t let you see it? Many adult adoptees can relate to this experience — forty states still withhold their original birth certificates from them. The secrets inherent in closed adoptions can create a lifetime of frustration and feelings of being second-class citizens — and can also create absurd dilemmas.
A contact veto provision in a records access law allows birth parents to file an affidavit with the government stating that they do not want to have any contact with their relinquished adult biological children. Violation of a contact veto may subject an adopted adult to criminal penalties.
*authorizes the State Registrar to replace the original birth certificate of those subjected to the contact veto/disclosure veto with a mutilated copy of the obc with all identifying information, including the address of the parent(s) at the time of birth (if they appear on the cert) deleted.
*requires “birthparents” who file a contact veto/disclosure veto to submit an intrusive and probably illegal medical and family history form to activate the veto.
*requires “birthparents” who file a contact veto/disclosure veto to fill out the same intrusive and probably illegal medical and family history form.
Jean Strauss writes well. Unfortuantley, she completely misses the point. What US adopted people want is to restore their right to their original birth record that states abrogated from the late 1930’s through the
1970’s. Adopted people need to stand up to the stigma that leads to their being discriminated against, and demand nothing less then inclusion and equal rights. Unfortualtely, Srauss appears to have internalized the stigma, making Marley’s suggestion she take herself out of the discourse reasonable.
I have hated National Adoption Month for years, Marley. Thanks so much for blogging every single day against it. I thought I was the only one who took forever to finish one blog. Thanks for doing this in protest and for representing all of us adoptees who were behind you in spirit but couldn’t get the brain working long enough to get out all those marvelous blogs like yours.
Ah, I understand, Anita, but you do a darned good job yourself. You’re one of the reliables! It’s realy difficult to get the brain working on this somedays. I’d rather stay in bed and read or watch old movies. The hole thing is a practice in frustration. If our friends don’t follow their own “mission” they are no longer our friends.
Your’re right anonymous If you you can’t do what you say you’ll do, then it’s time to get off the bus.
Here, here Marley. This fight for OBC ownership is between the adult adoptee and the state. It has nothing to do with birthmothers, judges, or medical records. It really is so simple if only deformers would listen. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist…honest.
Janet – NH
“Take Yourself Out of the Discourse! “
Take yourself out of telling other people what to do.
Haigha
Marley,
As usual, a brilliant blog!
Sorry about your sinus infection. I also have chronic sinusitis and the only thing which helps me is a hot, moist wash rag repeatedly compressed and held against my face. Somehow it gets the old sinuses draining.
Only when people like Jean Strauss stop selling bastards and their rights down the river, and killing the movement. Kippa. You either support rights for all, or you don’t. If you don’t just admit it.
Like you, I believe in equal rights for adopted people. Unequivocally. I believe that adopted people have the same absolute right to their OBCs as the non-adopted, and that that right must be recognized. I feel this keenly, for personal as well as political reasons.
The trouble is, there’s a world of contradiction between believing that and telling someone to “take themselves out of the discourse” because you don’t like the way they are dealing with the issue. No matter what. It’s dictatorial, smacks of repressiveness, ideology and dogma, and is a way of quashing controversy.
But if disaffection is what you want to foster, go right ahead.
Haigha
This is more than how StraussCo is “dealing with the issue.” It’s about a complete sell-out of adoptee rights; and thus leaving people behind. It’s not a matter of style. It’s ideology. The entire NJ-Care argument is based in and accepts opposition arguments. They threw up the white flag a long time ago, like their cohorts in Massachusetts. Favors for some, nothing for others. If NJ falls to compromise, it will be easier for other states to call in lockstep–since compromise is easier than maintaining principles and integrity.
Usiong a medical argument is absolutely folly and opens the door to an anonymous medical registry law, which lawmakers would love to pass to “end” this 30 year war in NJ. Not that NJ-Care wants that, but that’s what can happen.