OH, MY! OH, MY! IT’S APPLE PIE: MOTHER’S DAY!
Once more, we in AdoptionLand are accosted by Mother’s Day. What does it mean? Who is it about? Bastardette even wonders: why bother?–but then she’s mean-spirited and hateful. And since she is not a mother of any sort (praise be to Kali!) she does not feel qualified to discuss the qualities of motherhood in general. The term “mother” and all of its associated emotions, however, is a flashpoint in adoption. Just what and who is a mother? What is the correct terminology for women who gave birth and, willing or unwilling, “relinquish” their children for adoption. Birthmother? Natural mother? First mother? Biological mother? Real mother? Mother? And for women who have adopted the children of these women, what is the correct term? Adoptive mother? Adopter? Real mother? Or the ever-grating “adoptress? which almost rhymes with adultress. For what it’s worth, nobody ever hardly asks adopted people what they think about this schezoid naming ritual, which is probably for the best. Many birthmothers (and I’m using that term strictly as a generic accepted term within the adoption industry) feel disenfranchised by Mother’s Day. Thus, a few years ago a new “holiday” was created just for them: “Birthmother’s Day complete with special Continue Reading →