Blogger Fauxclaud taped the Montel Williams Show the other day. Her venture into the talk-o-sphere, where she attempted–and I emphasize attempted–to hold a cogent discussion on the pathetic state of contemporary adoption can be found in her Musings of the Lame, Montel, Not the Great Hope at All (January 12, 2007).

Since I don’t want to spoil Claud‘s story, I won’t comment other than to say that Claud’s experience with Montel mirrors my own time in hell with John Walsh. The only difference is that Claud received a $25 per diem, and a free Montel t-shirt and hat for having the forethought to leave her baseball bat at home, while I received a $60 per diem and got to pose backstage for a picture with Walsh after the show. Thankfully, John Walsh didn’t demand of me “How can I get a baby?”

Welcome, Claud, to the Sacred Hall of Adoption Media Martyrs! Patsies, set-ups, fools, naifs, suckers, and rubes all. It’s not like we don’t know that the talk show circuit is a big fat-ass circus that we should take as seriously as Paris Hilton’s 2006 abstinence pledge. For some inexplicable reason, though, we are old fashioned. We are moths. We maintain an odd belief in the democracy of the air waves. We pretend that by letting rich talk shows hosts turn us into shills for things nobody wants we will win a nameless audience to our side–or at least “educate” them. Do we really believe that the politicians who screw with us spend their days watching talk TV? The politics of our grievance effects are our brains. No hope is too high. No humiliation is too great. Maybe we have transcended our egos. Perhaps our self-esteem is so low that its residing in Badwater, Basin, California. Maybe we are all narcissistic potential Oprahs… if we can save just one… Strangely, those on the other side, ie., our enemies, suffer from the same feeling of helplessness when the camera rolls. Ambush! Hijack! Unfair! glide from their lips. We are all dupes.

You did your best and we thank you. I don’t want to patronize, but you may have done better than you think you did. Don’t quit. I know I won’t. Hope springs eternal!

Be scared, Claud! Be very scared! Since my appearance on the John Walsh Show I’ve developed a peculiar affinity to Maury’s Who’s the Daddy guests.

No word on Claud’s air date yet.


  1. Since Montel has several biological children, I wonder if he is thinking of adopting because of a new marriage to an infertile wife?

    Maury Povich went that same route, when he married Connie Chung.Prior to that marriage, he was a supporter of reunions and seemed more sympathetic to records issues.
    Marriage to infertile Connie changed all of that and he became “super-adopter.”

  2. It’s bad enough to have to swim upstream against years and years of industry disinformation. People are emotionally invested in what they already “know” about adoption, 90% of which is industry spin. What some of us have to say about adoption can be very disorienting and upsetting to people who alreay think they “know” what adoption’s about. And, there are alwayds people about who have profitted in some way from adoption and are so identified with it that they will defend it to the death, no matter how many people are injured by the institution. Add in a talk show host who looks only at ratings, and the results are predictable.

    FauxClaud has my total respect for what she did.

    So do you, Marley.

  3. As much as I hate the fact that Claud was treated in this manner, I am really not surprised. These “Geraldo Wannabe’s” are going to pander to the audience they think can do them the most good to get their name out there. They are NOT journalists because they put their personal spin on every subject, including, sadly, adoption. Strike off Montel, Nancy Grace, Maury Povich, and Oprah from the list of those who might listen.

  4. Yeah, last Anon, it’s an interesting thing to start thinking about. Men father babies, then split and adopters get the baby, but the new woman wants a bebe so they buy one from somebody in the business of exploiting mothers whose baby’s Daddies split!

    As for Montel, he’ll jump on whatever bandwagon he perceives to aggrandize and enrich himself. Just like the slavers who brought his ancestors from Africa. It wasn’t about the slaves (or mothers and babies), it’s about the slavers and their emotional and financial needs.

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