British Tabs Have Field Day with Omar bin Laden Surrogacy Story

If this isn’t enough to make Osama bin Laden rise from the grave, nothing is.

The July 10 London Daily Mail (NOT The Onion) published the heartwarming I’m carrying Bin Laden’s surrogate grandchild…but the baby’s parents have split up.

To make a long story short, Omar bin Laden, 29, and his 54-year old, 6-times wed wife and grandmother of five, Zaina, (formerly known as Jane Felix-Browne) are having a little problem plopping their bun in the oven and hired Louise Pollard, 24, a personal assistant and self-described professional surrogate to bake it for them.

Zaina and Louise have hit it off splendidly since the embryo implantation took. Omar, the 4th son of Osama bin Laden and his first wife, however, says since the procedure(s), at least according to Zaina, he’s been hearing his father’s voice in his head (no mention of what Osama is telling him, but we can imagine) and checked himself (or was checked into) a psych ward, leaving the girls to fend for themselves much to the delight of the British tabs.

How the story first got out–Louise blames her brother– is confusing. Louise, however, takes pride in her work, seeing herself as an altruistic kinda girl with a special calling: making baybees. This baby is her fourth– if you count her 7-year old kept kid from a “former relationship.” According to the Daily Mail she contracts with surrogatemother.com If you think adoption agency webpages are bad, get the shovel out for this one.

Louise told the Bristol Evening Post that she plans to continue her career after popping out the newest bin Laden

“Yes, of course. I think I’ve got 20 more years of fertility in me, and that means I should be able to bring 20 more kids to 20 more childless couples. That can only be a good thing.”

And how does she feel about surrogating Osama’s grandchild?

As the Daily Mail reported exclusively last month, when Louise realised the connection with Osama Bin Laden, she immediately turned Zaina down. It was only on reflection that she changed her mind.

I basically thought that if I don’t help this couple then no one will,’ said Louise, who describes surrogacy as her ‘calling’ and has already had two babies for a London-based childless couple in their 40s.

FLASH! according to August 15 news reports, Omar/Zaina/Louise are expecting twins. Before the twins announcement, depending on which press reports you read, Omar planned to call the baby, if it’s a boy, either William (for Scottish hero William Wallace)) or Osama. If a girl, Elizabeth after the queen. Louise prefers Ruby.

Louise Pollard reports that Omar is in near daily contact with his wife and that a reconciliation is very probable. This , despite Omar’s July declaration, shortly after his release from the hospital that he’d like to move to the US and date Drew Barrymore, though he realizes they would probably never be a couple.