Crestelle Pellecuer is a transracial/transnational adoptee born in Madagascar. At age 7 her mother died, and she was placed in a French Catholic-run orphanage. When she was 10 she was adopted by a white couple in southern France. At 18 she went to England, where she still resides, to study dance and earned an MA in Education.
Yesterday I posted Adopted Woman Speaks Out; Haters Hate on Her, Part 1. regarding Pellecuer’s “as-told-to essay “published recently in Business Insider. where she discussed how adoption impacted her sense of not belonging and fitting in, loss of family acceptance, her inability to advocate for herself (specifically in a work setting), and her struggle to gain self-worth.*
For adopted people, this is no surprise. It is not controversial.Most of us from any background struggle to feel that we belong. This is more difficult when you come from a different background, race, culture, and language than where your adoption landed you. Our lives can be an everyday struggle between people-pleasing and socially constructed gratitude v personal advocacy and self-worth.
Pellecuer’s narrative was reflective and mild. I Googled her and learned that she is anything but mild in real life. In England Pellecuer is a powerhouse of Black adoptee empowerment and an articulate thoughtful critic of adoption She runs a podcast: Black Adoptees Identities.
Check out this interview.
As adopted people we have been subjected personally or second- hand through social media, to ignorant even hateful comments by adopters, politicians, evangelicals, and an enormous number of people sticking their pointy noses in our business. These pitchforkers know nothing about adoption, how it works, and its consequences except for watching Hallmark movies or having a friend of a friend of a cousin who is adopted or an adopter who are just fine with how adoption rolls. We transgressors and boat-rockers are considered-in-large by these know-nothing self-righteous trolls as ungrateful, spoiled, whiney, professional victims, parent-haters, or even dangerous. We all need therapy or even a good beating. Or in some venues, Jesus.
The shitstorm response Pellecuer received, however, far exceeds anything I have ever seen or heard. According to my computer when I hit the print key, Pellecuer had received 81 pages of adoptee-hating, racist, nativist, and misogynist hate-filled clap backs. 81 pages! I did not print them out. but read every one of them.
Even adoptees dumped on her:
- Exactly I am an International Adoptee of Hispanic descent. I agree with you completely. I was adopted by White people. This writer is an idiot.
Probably less than 10 posters showed empathy.
The vast majority of “critics” complained outright or by allusion that Pellecuer should be grateful that a nice tolerant white couple had taken her–a Black orphan girl that even her own family didn’t want– nto their home, given her nice clothes and shoes, good food, and an education (including teaching her French) only to be repaid with ingratitude and hate. Why else would she say she didn’t fit in? Of course, she never said she hates her parents. She was simply stating her and a common adoptee experience. But, that’s what these assholes read into her comments when confronted with adoptee reality. Our reality. We can only wonder how HER experience impacts them, but I suspect it has something to do with myth-breaking, especially when it comes from a Black woman “saved by white beneficence.”
Failure to fit in is her fault. Some called her a bitch, a loser, and a racist. One called her a “hoodrat.” If Pellecuer were white she would not have been dumped on. She might just be considered a neurotic adoptee anomaly since we all know that adoptees love being adopted, losing our birth records, identity, history, and in the case of cross-county adoption our country, culture, and language. If we don’t then we are nothing but little angry bitches.
*The Business Insider article is behind a paywall. I could read it on my phone through Newsbreak, but not on my computer, and I went around Robin Hood’s Barn trying to download it for free. After I did I found a free link on MSN. The rotten comments, though, are only on the Business Insider site. The link above takes you to the NB version and I don’t know if you can access it without a NB acount.
Below are samples of the abuse piled on Pellecuer. I have never put a trigger warning on anything I’ve ever written, but in this case, If you are offended and sickened by adoptaphobia, racism, and vile ugly language and opinions –especially about you and other adoptees, then don’t go any farther. It’ll make you cry!
I have no doubt that in the coming months, we will see more adoptaphobia, with a lot of other hates, thrown our way as we continue the adoptee rights struggle in the midst of Christian Nationalism and traditional familyism. Cruelty is the point.
- That’s YOUR fault. Your fault. You are the one with an issue and a chip on your shoulder. They probably gave you everything and you still shit on them.
Kerry
- @Step Up!!!!So guess she should have stayed in the orphanage, had no education, no one to love her or care for her. Guess that would have given her another reason to complain.
Kaykay
- Are you wishing you were not adopted? Who paid for your education? It would be great to hear your adoptive parents. Your birth mother died. What about your birth father? You blame all your problems on being adopted. This has to be a slap in the face to the parents that raised you. Betting they never thought that as an adult you’d blame your problems on their generous and loving actions!
dibne reilly
- apparently no one in your immediate family wanted you. A white family saw your need and reached out, adopted and you still don’t get it.
valkyrie14
- Another unappreciative hood rat.
with man
- in Madagascar no less. She needs to count her lucky stars
Joey Ramirez
- If I was her adoptive mom, I would be very hurt by this article.
Mary
- You’re just a dishonest ungrateful ignorant idiot, ask why you were not adopted by a black family? I bet they treated you well more than any other people !
Kiki Lane
- Sounds like they adopted a dud.But that’s a you problem but were you treated right and taken care of when your own kin wouldn’t help
FREEDOM TRAIN
- hating on the people that raised her because they’re white is sickening
Harley Haug
- Hey I am sure the white parents gave you everything. so if you have a problem might I suggest you say something negative to your birth mother who gave you up or maybe your birth father who gave you up. but what if the white parents had not taken you in as theirs I wonder were you would have been then. stop playing the race card or the pitty card it just doesn’t work!
Quandarius
- The family should get a refund and reparations
L N
- Poor little victim! Ungrateful whiner
Ray Johnson
- Be thankful someone adopted you and loved you. You might have been aborted. You get one chance on this earth, be thankful for your life, it is far better than many.
Mmmmm.. Bacon
- France Eh? Maybe try shaving your armpits and showering frequently for starters.
David Welsh
- No. The author has “internalized racism” of her own. She never allowed herself to see the good in pleople, and she only wants this article to aid her confirmation bias.
mennis1966
- She should be grateful that someone adopted her, didn’t any black people run to adopt you??? It was a blessing that someone adopted her and the race doesn’t matter, look at how many that’s never adopted.
BeeKay
- Somebody has decided it’s to their advantage to play victim. There were no takers in her own family, but a white family had the audacity to adopt you. How dare they! Would she have felt better to sit it out in an orphanage for the next eight years? Her adopted family probably love her in spite of it all.
Edward McDuffie
- The author is probably a leftist since the article appeared in The Business Insider. The woman is well educated and has enjoyed a degree of success. Perhaps she is just an unhappy person.
not your bussines
- I’ve read only briefly& don’t need to continue,. First and foremost they saved you from unknown circumstances you’ll never realize, gave you a loving home and you were butt hurt for whatever reasons. You put on your big girl panties and accomplish amazing things yet slyly seems to me trying now to cash in on your own misery from a very young age only to end up here with many accomplishment yet your flopping in my opinion. Trying to make it seem like the evil white man destroyed your life. Well honey if that’s you. It’s amazing seems in 7 short years you accomplished becoming a bigot, racist and here now trying to convince others to follow your lead. If I’m reading you wrong I humbly apologize yet I believe I know your type if so? You have another big accomplishment to add most disgusting person I’ve never had the misfortune of meeting.Congratulations take your trophy and crawl back into the hole you’ve always been in.
kimmy
Can you imagine what her life would have been if she was not adopted!!! Here we go with” My adopted family did not make me feel worthy” Please Stop The “Poor Me Shit”. It seems to me they helped you and made sure you were educated, had work ethics, gave you a loving home, food, clothing, a chance at a good life!! Your way of thinking is absurd, and I am sure you love being a “Victim
Robert DeFelice
- you’re the most ungrateful woman there is even racist to the point where you using your race you’re a disgrace to a society
No Quarter Given
- bet you ain’t all them home cooked meals, wore those new clothes, slept in a nice bed under the roof of a nice home, rode to school in a nice car, participated in all the school sports. all at the expense of your adopted parents. Too bad you still turned out to be a minority racist piece of shit
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(No, it will never be X!)
Stop Safe Haven Baby Boxes Now!
Poke the Bear 2024
Day 25 — 5 Days to Go
