My American Christmas Adoptee Horror Story

Many adoptees online (and I assume off) dread the coming of Christmas. They talk of sadness, loneliness, dissatisfaction, stress, anger, and fear. Some emotions are vague and hard to pin down; others quite concrete. I believe absolutely every person who talks out their feelings and experiences. Even though I empathize, I feel like an insensitive outlier. Christmas, other holidays, and birthdays have no negative effect on me. I have no idea why. Being a fatalist and nihilist I just expect shit to happen. Maybe there is more to it. Perhaps I compartmentalize well, or I’m in the infamous fog, or I’m a sociopath, or I am over-traumatized, or I just don’t care. Since I don’t care about a lot of things everyone else does  (and visa versa) that may be the correct answer. Continue Reading →