The Daily Bastardette has always supported free speech and spirited discussion. The Daily Bastardette does not support hate, personal attacks, and libelous accusations.

I have removed two comments posted within the last 24 hours by Improper Adoptee and am banning her posting here–ever.

These types of comments are unacceptable in civil discussion, even heated civil discussion. They are harmful to individuals, bastard integrity, and the adoptee rights movement. This is my blog. IA has her own blog. She can articulate her opinions and toss out her insults there.

As a precautionary measure, I also removed Kevan’s last comment, only because he quoted IA’s salacious remarks. Kevan is a friend and is always welcome here.

I apologize for letting this go as far as it has. And I especially apologize to long-time friends who have been attacked here in the last day.

Finally, several months ago I posted this warning at the top of the blog.

Bastardette promotes and supports free speech and spirited discussion. Obscenity and spurious personal attacks on other posters, however, will not be tolerated. Offending comments will be removed. Posters who continue to post inappropriate messages will be banned.

This is not meant to dissuade controversy or debate. But there is a line drawn, and that line has been crossed.

Now let’s get back to real business.



  1. Idk

    What IA wrote, but you know, I have a soft-spot in my heart for her. People shouldn’t be so eager to defend their actions in regards to animals. I don’t agree or disagree with PeTA myself, I don’t know enough about them.

    I thought that ad was downright silly and maudlin.

    People do a lot of crazy stuff in re: both adoptees and animals, I think she is okay.

  2. Improper already posted a blog (
    ) seething with suggested libel, insinuated BS trying to claim “psychics” question Marley’s credibility. (I try not to laugh) The blog is obviously her way of retaliating for getting banned. It’s childish, but she’s only repeating past performances.

    I’d let that soft spot just wither away. IA’s done this to other people…it’s nothing new. Just go look at older posts on IA’s blogspot. Once she doesn’t like you, you’re a target. Marley’s all fact, no fiction. IA, well, you can go read for yourself. There’s no psychic ability there, but there’s some psychosis. Sorry.

    If Marley’s dares speak up in any form, even privately, this would happen:

    No ONE wants to go there. IA gets UGLY. Best you ingore her, or pretend you agree with her. Again, sorry, but the victimizer does indeed play her part of victim quite well.

  3. Well victims often become victimizers, and trust me I know something about her. I helped ban her from the forum I work on, and if you go back far enough on Marley’s blog, you can see IA attack me.

    I kind of see her as having as certain amount of a “Billy Budd” syndrome where she can’t find words to defend her position that aren’t ineffective. Although, I do see some worth in what she says.

    Marley is waaaaay more tolerant about what she allows on her blog, than I am, so I am being a bit hypocritical when I say this, after all, Marley lets my statements stand and I have been openly critical of BN.

    Idk, I have been the receipient of a lot of hateful speech, and still feel okay, I am sorry to see IA censored, I wish she could be accepted, I also wish she could learn to express herself without being so defensive.

    Just my feelings, right or wrong.

  4. Joy, IA told my daughter that her son, my grandson, a soldier serving in Iraq was a baby-killer and that she hoped he got killed in action. Comments like that are way over the line. I realize that she is damaged, but, as adults, we are all responsible for what we say to others and how we say it.

    I am damaged, as well. I was abandoned by my father when I was five, molested by an older cousin for years, abandoned and bad-mouthed by the father of my first child, raped and discarded by the father of my second child, lost my mother to sudden, unexpected death during Christmas of 1968 and lost a beloved stepson to suicide. I don’t think this gives me the right to say nasty things to people who are, in a civil manner, disagreeing with me.

    I do not think that adoption damage, on either end, excuses such behavior as IA exhibited.

    My daughter’s screen name is on her “hit list.” I’m sorry, but there is no sympathy here for her…pity, yes…sympathy, no.

  5. Robin, the comment IA made to your daughter about your grandson is exactly why IA does not belong here. She does not just disagree with people, she wishes death, disease and torture on those she disagrees with, as well as slandering them. She has done this repeatedly, to numerous good people. She comes across as seriously mentally ill, vengeful and paranoid, and a potentially dangerous person. Anyone who challenges her delusions is fair game for hate and harrasment. This is not just harmless craziness.

    Joy, this goes way beyond not agreeing with BN, having a different opinion on any issue, or a feud with one poster. Marley has been more than generous in giving her a forum for her rants, which hijack almost every thread she touches to her own agenda and issues.

    We can feel sorry for her,and have sympathy for her sufferings, but that does not mean we have to enable or excuse her viciousness. She has proven she is not ok, even when she agrees on some issues and manages to be lucid for a few minutes.

  6. IA had a copy cat profile made of Stepford Child by a troll on my space. Many things were written by that person. Spookie and alot of other people continue to cover up the fact, that IA was verbally abused on my space. Some things she said came about after days of her being insulted and ripped apart. All of them started it first because they are selfish, screwed up people. They push people to the breaking point. They think it is funny and don’t care who they hurt. So stop lying about IA. People who start trouble are the ones who are wrong, Not people like IA.

  7. No one is lying about what IA said on My Space. People disagreed with IA and she showed her emotional dysfunction in a big way. My daughter doesn’t agree with me 100% of the time, but she doesn’t lie to me. All you have to do is go to IA’s blog or read some of Stepford Child’s posts to see who is off kilter here. Anyone who wishes death for another woman’s child is sick.

  8. “Spookie and alot of other people continue to cover up the fact, that IA was verbally abused on my space. “

    You shouldn’t hide. Just post as yourself, because you’re obviously Stepford Child/Improper Adoptee’s friend. The FACT that you brought my nickname into this, specifically, doesn’t take a psychic to tell us that you’re one of her pals posting for her. Well, a little background; I actually helped her, and had numerous topics deleted from MySpace that were made about her, such as “One Crazy Bitch.” I also wrote to her and suggested, not demanded, that she might consider having two profiles — one for adoptee rights and one for animal rights. Her reply was that she’d thought about it, but wanted the animal rights people to know about the adoption issues (which, to be honest, they are not open to hearing about; AR/AA people are about animals, not people; animals are their focus) She’d also said she does not read entire posts, that she skims, and she’d overlooked a few key things I’d brought up. She thanked me, said I did a great job for the animals, and signed it “Love, Step” My reply is why she has stalked me so hatefully for so long. I asked a touchy, sensitive question. My friend is adopted, and I asked her what her feelings were about it. She claims my question was a lie solely meant to hurt her and to “make her cry.” That’s absurd. My friend was abandoned and no blood relative would take her (as an infant). She ended up in the foster system. One of the foster families adopted her. Her aunt didn’t want the “burden” and her other relatives were out of the picture, too busy, didn’t respond… her mother was drinking and doing drugs, and didn’t want anything to do with her. LONG story long (sorry) Stepford Child/IA said this was horrible of me to make up, and then posted public accusatory posts all over the internet, saying I’m a barren baby thief, a hacker, a poser, a phisher and a liar. She concocted the most insane stories about me, stories that had to have taken a lot of time and thought to create, and a lot of hatred.

    I tried to ask her WHY, and she only got worse. Her posts on MySpace got worse, and her comments to others got worse. She’s demand people delete me off their friend lists. She’d unfriend those who did not. She had strangers send me “death threats” and a friend or alternate of herself send me “native american death curses.” She sent out a public bulletin claiming I was dangerous. Even on her blog, she claims I’ve sent out emails with physical threats. It’s ludicrous and beyond sick. It’s abuse, harassment and it’s illegal when done anonymously. It’s a federal crime.

    What Robin said it also true. Robin speaks the complete truth. Improper Adoptee has her daugher and I on her “hit list,” and she has a long rant on both of our names on that LIBELOG (on Robin’s daughters, she wonders why Robin has yet to cut her daughter down!). In her blog, she claims we are not friends and that I attacked Robin’s daughter, but actually, everything is fine. Robin’s daughter is a very cool woman. IA did make the “baby killer” comment and said she hoped he’d get killed in Iraq. IA also said she hopes I get cancer. You see, my father has cancer, and when IA was told, she laughed, for 30 minutes by her words, and then claims I’m lying, because the doctor that she is says cancer only spreads down, not up, and my father has lung cancer that spread to his brain — the most common direction the cancer goes with lung cancer. Two other relatives of mine had lung cancer go right to the brain. Improper Adoptee laughs hysterically in her blog about my father and cancer. This is not anything funny, and I think it’s despicable.

    She posted on MySpace, in groups I had no access to, that I stole babies, and I was a “barren bitch.” She decided this because I had my first son at 40. (TMI) I’m sorry, Improper, for my 33 year old uterus. I seriously had no idea I was biologically younger inside. 😀 Now I have to watch it until I’m what, 50? ha ha ha Anyway, she said I’m barren, and her psychic-ness says I am a baby stealer. She must scam a lot people with her obviously made-up ability. I have more psychic power than she. To go group to group telling total strangers that I steal babies, and then LINK to my page, is SICK.

    I am serious when I say this, once she is really pissed off and you’ve burned her, in her mind, she might victimize you as she has done to me. She pulls bits of info from your blogs or your writings, then twists them into her storytelling. It can be disturbing and very unnerving. Google says to go to police and don’t pass go, don’t collect $200, just get it all documented. MySpace said the same. I also spoke to a few electronic rights groups and org’s, and they all say she is in the wrong and can be brought to court to face the music. I just haven’t finished my end of the work because I not only have a 22 month old, I have my Dad with cancer, and I have to help out, keep some extra money coming in… but the time will come.


    I’m telling you, if you dare ask that she remove your link, she will blog about you with such volatile and cruel lies, you’ll stomach will turn. I’d simply sent her a “CEASE AND DESIST” message, and look what happened…she blogged about me for months, with long, insane rants, filled with the cruelest lies, and comments she’d posts with fakes of herself to boost her own need for power and that taste of other’s pain she desires daily.

    There was never a copycat profile of her on MySpace. This has been verifies by MySpace. Also, she was never phished. All posts were indeed made my her, and her 4 profiles. She created a group in June to harass the users on the site that she currently lists on her blog. No one gets deleted from that site with facts to back up the TOS termination request. She was deleted for cyberbullying, posting a public bulletin of libel, harassment, abuse and numerous other violations, all in each incident of deletion.

    She can lie all she wants, but the truth is the truth, and there are facts to back up the truth. There are no facts to back up her lies and ramblings of hatred.

    Sorry for the long post, but this has just got to stop. How long can it go on? Once she’s banned, then she sends in her clowns? It’s not right. We’ve all been hurt in our lives, but we all know how to channel it in a proper manner, or get a grip on ourselves. We don’t go attacking people online for months to a year, just to make ourselves feel good inside for the bad we felt long ago and still feel. There’s always counseling and therapy, books and meditation — anything is better than being a bully and hating the world of strangers and former friends online, and loving every minute while you hate it.

    Group URL:

    The Moderator is Mittens, whom Improper Adoptee has listed as a TROLL and abuser. It’s my moderation account for both the anti-cruelty group and a group called *Cat Lovers*

    This is just a taste of Stepford attacking…

    BTW, I was asked to come to adoption groups by “Adoption Search Angel.” I was never involved in adoption, and I’m still not involved in any way, except that if there were petitions to open your records, I surely would sign.

    I wish you all well.

    (sorry for any typos, etc., my son has been sitting her wanting to type!)

  9. Robin:

    I hope your grandson comes home soon and safe.

    I am sorry that was said, how awful.


    oh but Spookie, don’t you harrass people on the internet yourself?

    talk about

  10. Thank you Joy. He’s homeon leave right now to be with his wife and new baby and his 6-year-old son. He’ll be going back, soon enough and it breaks my heart. I am so frightened for him.

  11. This blog is bullshit. Sc/IA is a totally nice person. She was one of my freinds on my space. She is a passionate and caring person. I watched her get unfaily attacked by many people. A few times I stuck up for her. Is your daughter that Raine person Robin? If she is then she was mean as hell to SC. I saw it and so did all our freinds. She owes SC an apology. It makes me sick how you people think it is alright to be barbaric to a person about something that hurts them. That is what that Raine chick did to SC. It doesn’t matter what SC even said to her or anyone else. Even if she told someone to drop dead so what. They asked for it. You are a bunch of bitches man. You treat her worse than she ever treated anybody. So shut up.

  12. No, Joy, I do not. I do stick up for myself when harassed and bullied online. At first, I do try to handle it privately. I sent private messages or emails. I never harass anyone.

    I think that if you were bullied online since 2007 and found libel and defamatory posts about you all over the internet, you would finally stand up for yourself, would you not? I finally took a stand for myself just a few weeks ago, after this woman known as StepfordChild, The Improper Adoptee harassed and bullied me for almost one full year. I am not the only one. I suppose you would also say the others, over a dozen or more, harassers? How much abuse, death threats, defamatory comments and hurtful, hateful things would you need to read about YOU before you finally typed something back, something truthful, not harassing? Just the facts?

    If you call posting facts harassment, then yes, Joy, I harass people. Daily and in person, because I am honest, and I am compassionate, and I have no bone in my body that wishes ill will on others, especially cancer, or death abroad while fighting for our freedom.

    I don’t mind that you seem to have your head in the sand like the small handful of IA’s back-patters. I know the truth, and that’s all that matters. Robin knows, and so do all the others, the adoptees, the AP’s and the animal rights activists who saw Stepford lash out against me for no reason at all expect for the fact that I asked her how she felt about an adoption of a baby whose mother rejected her for drugs and alcohol, and no blood relative would take her. If that is harassment, than God knows what you and Improper call worse offenses.

    Believe as you wish, Joy. I would NEVER mock an adoptee who could not access their original birth records, I would never laugh at an adoptee who didn’t know where they came from, I would never laugh hysterically at a real mother who gave away her baby and years later feels the pain and guilt.

    I don’t laugh at people’s suffering. I feel it. I can’t even get through a TV show about these topics, or about lost loves, lost children, even animals mourning the death of a partner, such as elephants. I cry. I have too much Empathy. You think I would abuse an obviously mentally ill woman for ha ha’s? No, Joy. She pushed me, and pushed, and I ignored her for so long. I then sought advice, and was told she was sound enough to know what she was doing; methodically planning each action. Unstable or not, she knows she is abusing people, and they say it could be because she herself was abused and never got help, and refuses to get help.

    I’m Enneagram Type Two: The Helper
    The helper doesn’t seek to hurt. I actually help TOO much. I neglect my own needs. I help the needy, right down to cats, before myself. I’ll use the last of my pay to help someone in need. Is that what harassers do?

    I’m an HSP. A Highly Sensitive Person reacts differently to situations than others. I am more easily overwhelmed, stressed, and in situations like this, where I’m being “slandered,” (libel) lied about in such horrific ways, publicly linked on adoptee sites as a vile woman who is an adoptee hater and “pro-adoption,” (?!? is that like “pro-abortion?), it makes me have anxiety like you have NO IDEA. I suppose you’d not understand. If you read in a newspaper that you were a baby killer, would you have a panic attack? Think of it like that, Joy.

    I’m taking my son to a pumpkin patch. Maybe you can sit here a moment and think about things for a bit. Maybe you can try to not judge people, especially when you have no idea who they really are.


    p.s. I love my adopted friends dearly, regardless if they found their real parent(s) or not, searched or didn’t, want to, don’t. Those who don’t know their real birth information, I believe should have access, for many, many reasons.

    An “adoptee hater” would not be “pro-adoption,” it does not make logical sense. Why would you believe IA’s comments? In certain situations, adoption might be the last resort for a child. And I am pro-choice. This is America. I’m allowed opinions. I think that’s what got me stalked and bullied in the first place.

  13. Okay. WHY are all Improper Adoptees sheeple hiding behind ANON’s?

    One bashes me, one bashes Raine?
    I think Stepford Child is online. She might be banned, but she did this on Myspace when she was “graylisted.” She used a friend’s house to post from.

    Oy vey.

    Good luck everyone.

    Robin, I’m so glad he’s home right now on leave. I’ll have to send a msg to Raine. Congratulations!!!

  14. No Spookie

    There is shit all over the internet about me, and I handle it pretty well, it is not that easy to rattle my cage.

    People who maintain web sites for the purpose of attacking another person don’t impress me much.

  15. People who use any site to attack others is in the wrong. Unfortunately, it happens too often. The Internet seems to make people feel invulnerable and that they can do or say whatever they wish. I think we have beaten this dead horse long enough. Now we know what to look out for and who feels what about which. “Nuff said.

  16. This is absolutely ridiculous. Marley invokes her right as a blog owner to ‘ban’ someone…and the entire convo is about the ‘banned’ person….giving the ‘banned’ person even more noteriety and attention. ‘IAs’ on the Internet are a dime a dozen…won’t be long before another will come along and replace.

  17. Kevan said:

    WTF, over? Man, this reads like a magazine you’d find in a doctor’s office with half the cover torn off! Marley isn’t “censoring” anyone. She isn’t the government. Now, if the government came on here and said, “Hey, you guys can’t say that or you’ll find yourself in Guantanamo with a pillowcase over your head!” then THAT would be censorship. But when someone comes on and doesn’t abide by the house rules, then Marley has the right to show them the door. It’s like, the Christians have the right to knock at my door and try to sell me their shtick, but I reserve the right to slam the door in their faces.

    Anyone who wishes death on a soldier serving this country doesn’t deserve the rights those soldiers die to defend. Yes, they get those rights because it’s America. But it damn sure doesn’t mean they deserve them.

    A lot of this other shit I’m not understanding. MySpace, some online cyberthreats…WTF?!

  18. I’m with Chris. I think this has been bandied about enough. There is nothing we can do to change the person in question so I am back to business as usual with a bit more caution as to who I associate with.

    I am sorry, Marley, that I let my personal anger at this person take up so much space.

  19. Those who said time to let it rest; I agree. I am not on MySpace, don’t even know how it works. What happened here is simple, someone crossed the line of decency many times after being warned, and Marley rightfully removed her. Now IA is best ignored. Back to the real issues.

  20. After seeing the way IA behaved for months, I’m glad she is gone. Anyone who frequents adoption forums regularly learns there are a few people who cannot conduct something approaching civilized discourse.

    IA frequently bashed, maligned, and even harrassed others. When called on her BS, she often played the “poor little me” card to try and elicit sympathy.

    This and other forums exist to conduct dialogue. Anyone who can’t behave within certain boundaries shouldn’t be here. Good riddance.

  21. Marley and all,

    I have come to this late, it seems things happen very fast here. I was occupied yesterday.

    I agree that if the issue for IA is attention, she has certainly gotten her wish here. I have many friends here and hate to see them being attacked.

    I remember when Robin told me about the attack on her daughter, and her grandson. It was a very unsettling feeling for her and for me, as well. Up to a point, we know that people say things in anger that they wouldn’t in a more rational moment, but the things that were said in this instance are almost like inviting disaster. As a woman who has also had children go into harm’s way, I know that to voice the demon seems like inviting it in. No one has the right to do that to another person, under any circumstance, in my opinion.

    If the purpose of this exchange has been to cause dissent, IA has certainly succeeded in her mission. I would suggest that we talk about some other thing.

    Marley, your blog always seems to stir things up, and your reporting of the atrocities with the Russian adopted children is great reporting about a horrible subject. Thanks for being so consistent about updating these stories, and for pointing them out. I know that children from other countries are being destroyed, too. Thanks for heightening the awareness about these atrocities.


  22. Marley, a very intelligent and outspoken woman who deserves nothing but high-fives and thanks for her information, support and high ranking on a certain search engine *wink* is an interesting blogger for the cause, while on the contrary, IA is insipid, rude and digresses often from one thought to another, often so off course that it becomes irritating to read. Marley’s blog is on topic; IA’s, I need not repeat what’s evident to all. It’s no wonder that IA has commented to herself with such cheap shots and libelous retorts for a petty banning.

    The Improper Adoptee is very much indeed talking to herself in her “comments” that follow her blog post “Sitting High Up On The Chair Of Hypocrisy…” I can say with almost 99% certainty that a few comments here are hers. Let me just suggest that there are patterns in language and word usage, similarities and differences that appear to pop up in both her blog entries and her comments, and the blog comment sections of others’ blogs; comments for either can be as IA or “anonymous.” If you read the posts and/or comments solicitously mindful, you can detect her style and see her personality traits almost jump out at you. There are key words used that are constants; she pulls them up often and has for a dreadfully long time.

  23. IA, you are beyond help, and this is THE END! That childish, wacko comment did not come from me and you damn well know so. Can’t you control your lying even for one sentence per 1,000? You’re angry I posted here. Get over it.

    Marley said “There is still no room for hate on this blog. This subject is over. Closed.” STOP INTRUDING! You did this to me, now you’re going to harass her area and people who post to her blogs? FIND SOMEPLACE TO GET YOUR ANGER OUT. Meditate, go to a sports club and exercise, take yoga classes, just do something else other than bully all of us for your pleasure. THE END, LADY!

    Marley said end it. Try it.

  24. Improper Adoptee, is this the only way you can get you anger out, by posting via You were banned, get over it. Look at all your posts here. You look like exactly what you are — out of your mind. We all know it’s you; you had to wait until this made it to

    Stop harassing me and Raine, and while here, I can tell you, I highly doubt Marley cares what nonsense you say about her. These posts you’ve made now prove once and for all that you’ve been using sock puppet accounts and faking your comments in your blog for months, and it also proves that you, IA, are the bully.

    Get yourself help. No one hates you as you hate them. It’s more like pity. It’s sad that you’re so full of hate, anger, volatility and probably self-loathing. Before you turn 50, try a psychologist at the very least! Read an anger management book for those who’ve been abused! Just stop abusing others!

    I asked you in SEPT. to STOP THIS. You refused and laughed. I asked politely. You’ve blogged about me since MAY, and prior to that, it’s almost a year now that you’ve harassed me in many forms. Second to adoption, *I* am the most used label on your blog. What’s wrong, you can only dish it out? I said STOP IT, leave me, my son, my family alone. Stop stalking my page, profile, my groups; I know you keep reading the groups and cull info on personal things for yourself. You are a sick woman and you should have gotten help long ago. I say that with sincerity. I tried to be your friend when you needed one. It’s your problem and your fault that you decided it was not that at all.

    Why can’t you understand “CEASE AND DESIST?” Must an attorney send you the paperwork? Leave me alone, you angry, bitter woman. GET LOST, you creepy, stalking, libelous bully.

  25. u do what u say ia does. u have been from the begginning. u r a failure. u need help. u need zoloft. u r a total loser. everyone is laughing at u. go commit urself.

    sent from:

  26. The Improper Adoptee used AGAIN.

    StepFord Child, Native Warrior, Burned, SC, anonymous, etc. — the very fact that you’re using Marley’s blog to attack me proves that you are the person behind the postings.

    You won’t post to my blog because you’ve convinced yourself I’m a hacker, a phisher and dangerous, so you’re afraid of me. Stop being such a drama queen and deal with me directly and leave Marley’s blog out of your sick obsession with me. Everyone knows I’m not a hacker.

    I know I made you rage when I fought back (blogged). I told you; take you libel down and stop this, and everything can stop. You’re the one who doesn’t want to stop. I’ve offered you the option many times now. I don’t know how else to get you to stop.

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